Get Your Fire Extinguishers Ready, The Merchants Unveiled Their New Jerseys Yesterday

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One billion degrees. The Merchants may have suffered a tough overtime loss last night but they dominated the eye game. Made the rags Stony Plain wore look like Salvation Army shit. Be more poor, Stony Plain. You can’t.

Only problem I had with those fire tarps was that OJs casually came in and stuck an ad on my own teams jerseys.

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Absurd that they got their logo on there before I did. By now I feel like I’m a booster of this club, can’t believe they’re not the ENS sponsored St. Albert Merchants. I checked with my sources and found out what they paid too. Almost spit out my drink. Ridiculously cheap. I would have paid double what they did.
So how do I top what OJs has done? Well it’s too late to sponsor the jerseys for next year, goddamn OJs signed a three year deal. So I have to at least buy a rink board next year right? On the rowdy section side, of course. Or do I pull a complete power move and just become the title sponsor of Akinsdale Arena? The barn that I built. Call it: Empty Net Sports Arena at Akinsdale. Oh my!! Throw the name around centre ice too. Congrats on thinking you took my team, OJs. I’m just going to sponsor the entire barn. I’ll have a chicken caesar wrap please and thank you. Dill dip city.
PS – We need a logo.
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