All Of The Legends Are In This Spectacular Oilers Picture From 2000

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Every so often a picture comes around that’s just simply a masterpiece. Boy on the bus, early 00’s edition. My God that was one hell of an Oilers team.Now there are some straight up legends in that picture. Let’s start with the easy ones.

Bottom Drawer – Dougie “Steal Your Girlfriend” Weight

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Dougie Fresh. Man’s a God. If we had that Führer money back then like we had now there’s no way he ever would have left Edmonton. Would have had a statue in Edmonton. Unfortunately we were Somalia poor back in the day, so we shipped our boy Dougie off to St. Louis for another future Oilers God, Marty Sakic Reasoner.

One Above – Tommy “My Girlfriend Was Stolen” Salo

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I grew up idolizing Salo, which is probably where my cold wheels stem from. Poor guy. People don’t ever appreciate what Salo did for the Oilers because A) Belarus, and B) Mike Comrie. But the man started 85% of Oilers games between 1999-2003, including a ridiculous 73 games in the 2000-2001 season. He posted 36 wins that year, and our defense included future Home Depot employees Sean Brown, Sven Butenschoen and the honourable Scotty Ferguson.

Top Right – Smytty

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Mr. Oiler. Among the many great things 94 did for the copper and blue, the best had to be game three, triple OT against San Jose. After Voldemort took a clap bomb intentionally at Smytty’s jibs, our boy came back to set up Shawny Horcs for the triple OT winner. Suck it Toskala.

To Smytty’s Left – Rem “The Gem” Murray

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My favourite Oiler of all time. Most underrated part about Murray was the fact that he randomly came back to the Oilers during the ’06 Cup run. Goddammit he didn’t win a Cup. Only thing keeping him from the Hall of Fame tbh.

To The Gem’s Left – Todd Marchant

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Just scored one of the biggest goals in the history of the franchise is all.

Far Left – Billy Ranford

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To be honest I have no idea how ol’ Billy even got in this picture. Must have hitchhiked a ride to Palm Springs for retirement. For hours I actually thought he was Alexei Semenov, remember that bum? Guy was the worst. But he played for the boys in like ’05 so it couldn’t have been him. Bum.

Top Left – Janne Niinimaa

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I heard a story that when Janne got traded to the Isles after he did his press conference he went to the Black Dog to slug beers and just wept the whole time. Guy didn’t wanna be traded and I love it. If Janne laced them up again and came back to play, what’re the odds he’s better than 2/3rds of the Oil blue line? 2/1?

Top Shelf – Tom Poti

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No joke, my least favourite Oiler of all time. Him and maybe Cory Cross. JF Jacques and MA Pouliot were outrageoulsy terrible too, but nobody holds a candle to how much I loathed Tom Poti. Guy was worse than diarrhea after a shower. A typical Masshole who couldn’t produce a breakout if he tried, which he never did. That Kings player in the picture for sure buried thanks to Poti’s inability to cover anybody. What’s even worse is the guy went on to have a decently successful career after we dealt his punk ass to New York.

PS – The Oilers had about 1,000 black players on their team in 2000 but none of them got in this photo. Absurdly racist, Oilers. Needed to see Mike Grier or Georges Laraque or Dancin’ Anson on that bus in the worst way possible.

h/t Steve Wall


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