The 2014/15 Oilers Year End Awards

oilers-awards

It’s finally over! I’ve been waiting for this day since like game nine. We don’t have to deal with Oilers hockey anymore (for another six months). Before these guys take off I’ve handed out some well deserved hardware. Here are the 2014/15 ENS Oilerz Awards:

 

Todd Marchant Award for Play of the Year

Winner: Jordan Eberle goal vs. San Jose (02/02/15)

eberle-goal-san-jose

Jordan Eberle undressing Patty Marleau, Brent Burns, SJ Sharkie, the Sharks fans in the first row then Alex Stalock was one of the only bright spots all year. Off the top of my head it’s one of the only nice plays I can remember all season. Really no competition.

 

Steve Smith Award for Worst Play of the Year

Winner: Leaving Vrbata as wide open as humanly possible off the draw for a goal (11/19/14)

vrbata-goal-oilers

Textbook defense. Obviously there were a few candidates for this one. In the end I went with what’s not unlikely to be the worst draw in hockey history. Dallas Eakins special teams at their finest. Runners up included Victor Fasth letting in a goal from the moon, the title picture for this blog and pretty much anything Nikitin did all year.

 

Jason Smith Award for Best Leader

Winner: Matty “Ice” Hendricks

hendricks-oilers

My boy. It was tough to find other candidates since leadership is basically a non-factor on the Oilers, but I appreciate Matty Ice bringing it every night he laced them up. Way to go, Matty.

 

Shayne Corson Award for Worst Leader

Winner: Andrew Ference

ference-oilers

Just so we’re clear, these are on ice awards. Off the ice I really appreciate what Ference does. He’s a good man, helps out in the community. On the ice I’m still not sure what he does. And he’s been here for three years. Has Ference ever spoken once about how hot trash the team that he captains is? Aren’t leaders supposed to rally? Take accountability? Say literally ANYTHING? Not Andrew, but dammit can he recycle.

ference recycle

EVERYONE WINS! (Except the Oilers)

 

Paul Coffey Award for Best Defenseman

Winner: Oscar Klefbom

Edmonton Oilers v Detroit Red Wings

The kid showed poise, commitment and talent that was rarely seen on the backend this year. There are few and far between players on this team that I will say this about, but I can’t wait to watch this kid develop. He’s going to be good.

 

Cory Cross Award for Worst Defenseman

Winner: Nikita Nikitin

nikitin-oilers-terrible

Nikitin is going to be a busy guy at the first annual ENS Oilers Year End Awards. Look at him. Completely oblivious to Jimmy Hayes stealing the puck behind him.

 

Grant Fuhr Award for Best Goalie

Winner: Richard Bachman

bachman-oilers

Dicky B unbelievably went 3-2 this year. He also posted a save percentage above .900. Essentially Vezina numbers when playing for the Oilers. If you would have told me at the start of the year that Dick Bachman would have been the Oilers best goalie I would have told you we’d be in this exact position we are in. LB was a close second. Tyler Bunz was a close third.

 

Ty Conklin Award for Worst Goalie

Winner: Ben Scrivens

scrivens-oilers

Two days ago I was prepared to give this award to Victor Fasth, who I almost forgot existed. But then I watched Scrivens give a performance worse than James Franco at the Academy Awards. It was like he was trying to let in everything. How we thought we’d be safe this season with this bum in the pipes is beyond me. I’d feel safer walking naked down the Gaza than I do when Scrivens comes out to play the puck. At this point I’m not even sure I’d feel confident with him as our backup. Chances are he’ll probably go on to win 27 games and single handedly get his team into the playoffs next year while simultaneously being talked about as a Vezina candidate. Or something like that.

 

Glen Sather Award for Best Coach

Winner: Todd Nelson

todd-nelson

If you’re not back next year it’s a travesty. I have never loved a coach like I love Nelly. Yak, Roy, RNH, Eberle, Tony Lander. All looked like completely different hockey players under Nelson. Stevie Wonder could see the culture change in the locker room once the pride of PA took over. But our rookie GM doesn’t think it’s a good idea for a rookie coach to takeover in a rebuild, two years after he hired a rookie coach to takeover our rebuild.

 

Dallas Eakins Award for Worst Coach

Winner: Dallas Eakins

dallas-eakins-oilers

Just, the worst. I often wonder what Eakins is doing now that he’s unemployed. Apparently he’s giving out Twitter advice:

This guy used to coach our hockey team.

 

Mark Messier Award for Man of the Year

Winner: Joey Moss

joey-moss-oilers

 

He should win this every year. He’s simply the best. Better than all the rest. Better than anyone. Anyone I’ve ever met. If anybody deserves a Stanley Cup, a playoff game or even a competitive roster it’s Joey. You’re the man, Joey.

 

Michael Nylander Award for Worst Man of the Year

Winner: Daryl Katz

katz-sucks

You know what would be nice? If our owner who doesn’t even live in our city would release a statement regarding how horrific our franchise is. Führer once again demonstrated the worst leadership possible, remaining completely invisible during this train wreck (until Monday, of course, where he is set to announce the new downtown casino yay sports!) Your entire existence sucks. The Leafs fired everybody and their mothers (except steady Steve Staios) this morning, one day after being brutal. Nine years after being brutal, our former head coach is now our GM, our former GM is now our president, our former assistant GM is now something else. The process, baby.

 

Wayne Gretzky Award for Best Player

Winner: Jordan Eberle

ebs-oilers

This one really only came down to Ebs and Nuge. Ebs finished the year with 63 points in 81 games. Not bad, considering Oilers.

 

Jiri Dopita Award for Worst Player

Winner: Nikita Nikitin

Daniel Sedin, Henrik Sedin, Nikita Nikitin

Nikita Nikitin, Matt Hendricks

But at least he’s an olympian.

And finally:

 

The Edmonton Oilers Award for Most Oilerz Play of the Season

Winner: Whatever this was

because-oilers

 

If somebody asked me to sum up the 2014/15 Oilers season, I’d show them this gif.

Congratulations on making it through another year, everybody!

Leave a Reply

Please Login to comment
  Subscribe  
Notify of