Recapping The Oilers Last 24 Hours Because Everything Is Happening

The last 24 hours have been spectacular to watch as an Oilers fan. I can’t keep up. So much activity. Pistol Pete’s done more in 10 minutes than Steve Tambellini did in five years as our GM. So, let’s do a quick recap while we try to catch our breath.

First, the Oilers officially ended every dream Buffalo has ever had yesterday at approximately 5:15 MST by walking to the podium and picking Connor McDavid.

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That wasn’t a surprise. Been waiting two months for that moment. But then they decided to burn the entire state of Florida down without any sort of warning and launched what appears to be the greatest hockey jersey ever unveiled in the history of hockey.

 

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I legitimately cannot WAIT to rock one of those orange fire breathing dragons with a 23 Matty Ice decal on back. Those things are SCORCHING. A marketing dream for the Oilers to launch a retro Alberta Oilers jersey in the final year at Rexall, and unveil it on their generational super star first overall pick so everybody can forget about all the losing associated with the regular ones. Genius. Just, genius.

Can we also talk about how Katz’s kid was looking fly as fuck last night?

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That kid has cleaned the hell up! Svelte city. His suit makes Gary Bettman’s look like it came from Goodwill. Orange tie, killer touch. Also, Craig MacTavish was on the stage. He still technically doesn’t have a job title, but oh ok come up bud. His suit game was not strong. Especially beside the Katz kid. Just getting put in all sorts of body bags.

After my excitement level came down to a modest million, I – and everybody at the ENS draft party – suddenly realized that we still had the 16th pick. I was actually kind of fired up to see that orange flamethrower of a jersey back on stage, but then we shipped the pick over to the Islanders for former Oil King captain Griffin Reinhart. Now at first I hated the trade. I hated sending a 16th and 33rd overall pick for a guy whose played eight games. But the more I drank the more the trade grew on me, and by the end of the night I had myself convinced that Reinhart would win multiple Norris trophies.

Then Pistol was kind enough to give us time to sleep.

Then Pistol gave me a wake up present better than anything Hank’s wife ever has and traded for Cam Talbot.

I love him.

Then bodies started flying like Nuketown in Call of Duty.

First, we traded Marty Marincin to Toronto for the 107th pick and some guy named Brad Ross. Basically the Reinhart trade yesterday meant the end of Marincin in Edmonton. I wasn’t a fan of just giving him away for virtually nothing, I think he is and will be a decent NHL player. The trade really didn’t make a whole lot of sense for me, but then we moved the 107th pick to Ottawa in another trade that landed Eric Gryba. Gryba is a big machine. He’s 6-foot-4 and over 220 bills. This is him leveling Lars Eller:

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He is what he is though, and that’s a 5/6. You might point out the obvious and say we only have 5/6 defensemen, and that would be true. But anybody that gets dealt here who’s going to take minutes/a spot away from Nikitin is alright in my books.

To get Gryba we shipped the aforementioned 107th overall pick, and friend of ENS Travis Ewanyk. Good luck, Trav!

I still have no idea who the fuck Brad Ross is.

Since then we’ve drafted a few kids. Defenseman Ethan Bear (FIRE name) and Caleb Jones, the younger brother of Seth.

And it turns out that yes, those jerseys are still on fire.

We’ve since taken another kid, Johnny Marino:

I have no idea who he is, all I know is Johnny Hockey was a STEAL at 154th.

Good. Very good. Let him spend a day with the ENS boys, we’ll take him to Queens for a couple jumbo donairs and bulk his ass up.

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