ENS NFL Preview: AFC



AFC East

Last season’s standings:

  1. New England Patriots: 12-4
  2. Buffalo Bills: 9-7
  3. Miami Dolphins: 8-8
  4. New York Jets: 4-12

New England Patriots:

My achilles heel. Basically the only team in the league I am confident we cannot beat. Every time I hear their third down horn I think of Conference Final playoff exits. I watched them Brady kick Pittsburgh’s teeth in last night as a test for what I’m about to face in week 5. Their defense took a beating but it’s still Brady and Belichick. That’s a guaranteed 12 wins right there.

Buffalo Bills:


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When your coach has to beg your fans to be loud on opening day. Their defense is actually frightening though. Colts by 100.

Miami Dolphins:

The sneaky good team of the AFC. A competent QB, a solid running back and a talented young receiver. That, plus a talented defense. This is without question the best division in football.

New York Jets:

Their training camp began with a guy who’s now on the Bills practice squad sucker punching their starting quarterback in the jaw.


  1. New England Patriots: 12-4
  2. Buffalo Bills: 10-6
  3. Miami Dolphins: 9-7
  4. New York Jets: 5-11

AFC North

Last season’s standings:

  1. Pittsburgh Steelers: 11-5
  2. Cincinnati Bengals: 10-5-1
  3. Baltimore Ravens: 10-6
  4. Cleveland Browns: 7-9

Pittsburgh Steelers:

Their star running back is suspended and they can still rush for 140 yards on the road. Great offense, very bad defense.

Cincinnati Bengals:

The best 1-2 punch at running back in the league. Too bad their quarterback is functionally retarded.



Cleveland Browns:


They came out with new jerseys this summer. Those lost too.


  1. Pittsburgh Steelers: 11-5
  2. Cincinnati Benglas: 9-7
  3. Baltimore Ravens: 8-8
  4. Cleveland Browns: 3-13

NFC South

AFC North

Last season’s standings:

  1. Indianapolis Colts: 11-5
  2. Houston Texans: 9-7
  3. Jacksonville Jaguars: 3-13
  4. Tennessee Titans: 2-14

Indianapolis Colts:


Houston Texans:

This is their new starting quarterback:


Jacksonville Jaguars:

They added some pieces, they’re still the Jaguars.

Tennessee Titans:

A little 2015 Rosebowl rematch at quarterback in week 1. That’ll be the only interesting thing the Titans do this season.


  1. Indianapolis Colts: 16-0
  2. Houston Texans: 8-8
  3. Jacksonville Jaguars: 4-12
  4. Tennessee Titans: 3-13

AFC West

Last season’s standings:

  1. Denver Broncos: 12-4
  2. Kansas City Chiefs: 9-7
  3. San Diego Chargers: 9-7
  4. Oakland Raiders: 3-13

Denver Broncos:

Poor Hank and I have talked about his Broncos. They kind of feel like they’re floating around no mans land right now. They’re good enough to grab 10-12 wins, but not good enough to make noise in the playoffs. I’ll never bet against Manning (except in January) but this might be the first time in the Manning-led Broncos era that they’ve relied on their defense to win some big games. At least Peyton still has a Black Ops core of weapons.

Kansas City Chiefs:

They brought in Jeremy Maclin to hopefully bring them their first receiver touchdown in over a year. Big Red where you at?!


San Diego Chargers:

Philip Rivers spent the offseason expecting his eighth child. What a fucking idiot.

Oakland Raiders:

They just signed Aldon Smith. Of course they did.


  1. Denver Broncos: 11-5
  2. Kansas City Chiefs: 9-7
  3. Oakland Raiders: 8-8
  4. San Diego Chargers: 7-9



  1. Indianapolis Colts
  2. New England Patriots
  3. Denver Broncos
  4. Pittsburgh Steelers
  5. Buffalo Bills
  6. Miami Dolphins

AFC Championship: Indianapolis Colts vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

AFC Champion: Indianapolis Colts

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