Days Until The First Oilers Game: 4 – Taylor Hall

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Today’s Player: Taylor Hall. Remember the time our 8th defenseman stepped on his face in warmups?

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There isn’t a stronger metaphor for how the rebuild had gone than one of our franchise players getting a blade to his face by Corey fucking Potter.

Luckily Pizza Trav was there to comfort Hallsy took a Tyrion Lannister cut across the face.

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Career Oilers Stats:

GP G A P PIM P/M
299 106 157 263 180 -23

Career 0.88 points per game and Dallas Eakins coached him for a year and a half OH MY GOD WHAT A BUST TRADE HIM.

Why We Like Him:

If he played for 29 other teams in the NHL he might be considered the best left winger in hockey. Unfortunately he was drafted by a talent sucking vacuum of an organization. He scored a hatty eight minutes into a game against Vancouver. And probably most impressively, he had 80 points in 75 games playing under Dallas Eakins. Eakins thanked him by throwing a towel at his face.

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Never has a player been so individually dominant for an organization and been treated like swass like Taylor Hall. He can’t even make a joke in this city without people launching an all out blitz at his life:

Fuck this fan base.

Why We Don’t Like Him:

Few things in life are as painful as watching Taylor Hall attempt a toe drag.

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Where Is He Now:

The Ranch On the boys, about to have the best season of his career. Book it.

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