I Would Give My Right Nut To Get Travis Hamonic In Edmonton

travis-hamonic-oilers

Shut-up-and-take-my-money

Live look at Pistol Petey, hopefully:

happy-yes-proud-fist-pump-accomplished

I need Pistol Pete to step up and deliver more than Eddie Lacy needs a cheeseburger. When Bettman announced the Oilers made a trade with the Islander at the draft for like 2.3 seconds I was convinced it was Hamonic. Hank was completely cerebral palsied. Then, like the rush of getting teeth pulled, we found out it was Reinhart instead. Of course I laughed at even the thought of this functionally inept franchise pulling off a trade that significantly improves the fire garbage portion of our team. But now, it’s reachable. If Travis Hamonic specifically asks to come to Western Canada and does not leave Edmonton off that list how the hell isn’t he on our team already? Cost is irrelevant, this is a great 25-year-old defenseman with an absolute steal of a contract. He’s got five goddamn years remaining at $3.857-million per year. That’s $200k more than what Mark Fayne and his press box popcorn makes, and almost $2-million a year less than Suckera. My God, it’s like Hamonic doesn’t realize how good he is, how big of a steal he is and how big of an outhouse Edmonton is.

So what would you move for him? PerryK is on glue but I love where his head’s at. Think big or don’t think at all:

In the actual world we live in though, like, real life, that’s not possible. That’s not even possible on NHL 16.

So what’s realistic? The Islanders have $5.57-million in cap space. Subtract Hamonic’s contract and you’re looking at around $9.4-million is space to work with. That’s plenty for something to get done. I don’t really care what it costs. Yakupov, Schultz, picks. Don’t care. Get me this guy immediately. “Oh, but would you really trade a first overall pick?! He looked so good with Mcdaddy though!” Yes, who cares. He looked good with McDaddy because it’s fucking McDaddy. We have had an abundance of wingers for too long in Edmonton, and that’s gotten us as high as 24th. It’s time to change. Get me the player that’s going to help our team tomorrow, not the player who looked good for the second time in his career and only by virtue of playing with a hockey Jesus. Ya, I’d love to win with 7,000 small skilled forwards but this isn’t Halloween. Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocula. I need the player we need and I needed him like probably three years ago.

PS – If Travis Hamonic goes to Calgary, Vancouver or Winnipeg I’ll cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort.


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