Matty Ice Blocked a Shot With His Cock and Balls Last Night Because He is a Goddamn Warrior

Our boy Matty Ice out here reinventing the meaning of a heart and soul guy. This guy will do anything to win. Take a run at our best our player with his head down? Matty will respond by running your best player’s head through the glass.

Lose our top two centermen to injury and in desperate need of a road win? Matty will go out and literally block a shot with his dick. Just another day in the life for Hendo. Warrior doesn’t even begin to describe this guy. Not to mention the fact he barely missed a shift. If I even accidentally slightly make contact with one of my jewels it’s more than enough pain to put me out of commission for at least an hour. Not Matty though. Hit him in the bag with a slapshot and all he needs to do is check that his package is still intact, slam his fist into the ice and drop a good f-bomb and he’s good to go.

Even though Dubnyk turned out not to be a complete bum I’m still so happy MacT traded him for Hendo. The heart and soul of the Oilers. At this point I’ll be shocked if there isn’t a “Matty Ice 23” banner hanging in the glass jungle five years from now.

 

 

PS – Every single guy on the team owes him a drink after seeing this and that should go without saying.


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