Revisiting The Daryl Katz Apology Letter To The Fans From Two Years Ago

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Well, every time we think it can’t get more Oilers, they manage to out Oilers themselves. Getting mathematically eliminated on fan appreciation night is the most Oilers thing to happen since like maybe last month. Nothing says ‘appreciated’ quite like tying an NHL record for the longest postseason drought in league history. Once again, the fans in Edmonton have been shit on, spat at and mentally tormented by a perpetually rebuilding hockey team. We can’t even use the word ‘rebuild’ anymore because this isn’t a rebuild. We just suck. We are a bad, bad franchise. The last time we made the playoffs the highest grossing movies of the year were Pirate’s of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest and fucking Cars. Just for shits, let’s revisit the apology letter written by Daryl just two years ago:

To Oilers Fans Everywhere:

Sup.

We all thought this was going to be the year the Oilers turned the corner. Obviously, that hasn’t happened, and it hurts. It’s frustrating – for all of us. For our fans, for our players and staff, and for everyone in our community who shares a common bond around a game, a team and a city that we love.

In our community, via Vancouver.

I know this will almost certainly be the eighth consecutive year since we made the playoffs. I hate that fact as much as anyone, but the reality is that this is only year four of the rebuild that started when we drafted Taylor Hall. The good news, if you can call it that, is that other teams that committed to fundamental rebuilds went through the same kind of droughts over the same kind of time frames, or longer. That doesn’t make it fun for anyone; it just means we have to stay the course.

“It’s only year four!” is Daryl telling us that you can’t expect 1,460 days to be enough to competently put together a team that wins more than 26 games a year. Brilliant. I guess it’s only year six? In that time, kids born at the beginning of our rebuild have successfully completed the kindergarten. Six years ago, Connor McDavid became a teenager.

Yes, we hoped and expected to be better this year – there’s no question about that. But we’ve also been more active than any team I can think of in rebuilding our organization from bottom to top by supporting player development in OKC and Bakersfield, revamping our scouting organization, naming a new GM and a new coach, signing free agents like Justin Schultz, Boyd Gordon, Andrew Ference, Anton Belov and Ilya Bryzgalov, and trading for players like David Perron, and now Ben Scrivens and Matt Hendricks.And we’re not done.

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Ohh……fuck. That’s not a good look. That entire statement looks like the city of Pompeii. It’s embarrassingly funny to look at. I’m trying to decide whether I’m more distraught at what I just read, or if I’m satisfyingly humoured. We’re quite literally a parody of a tragedy. Boyd Gordon, Andrew Ference, Tony Belov, Bryz, fucking Jultz, David Perron, Ben Scrivens, and Matty Ice. ONE of those eight players still plays for us. If you’re going to drop names, make sure they’re better than these bags of warm rhinoceros piss.

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But I can also tell you that we are not going to sacrifice the future by doing something short-term. Those days are over and they’re not coming back. If we’re going to rebuild, we want to do it right and we only want to do it once.

The right way!!!! Hell ya Daryl. Only once (even though that was actually the second attempt, but shhh we’re hush about the first failed attempt).

I hear a lot from fans about accountability, so let’s be clear. We are all accountable. That includes me, Kevin, Craig, Dallas, every player who wears our jersey, and every member of our staff. I know Kevin is the target of a lot of personal attacks right now, and that’s really unfortunate. Kevin is a big part of our organization, and it’s not just the Oilers that value his knowledge and perspective. He is consistently chosen, year after year, to play a leadership role with Hockey Canada. But when it comes down to it, this is Craig MacTavish’s team. He is the GM. He makes the calls, and he is accountable for building a team that can compete for the Stanley Cup — year in and year out for years to come*.

*Fired the next year.

That’s our vision. We are committed to it — and we’re confident that we are on the right track.

I must have missed the vision part of all that.

Our fans have been incredibly patient and supportive. At the same time, we know there’s a lot of frustration and we are asking you to hang in there while we fight through this and put the next few pieces of the team in place.

Anytime now Daryl.

I’ll tell you this, despite everything, we all wear our Oilers colours with the same pride now as we ever have, and as we will when we’re back on top. We hope you’ll do the same.

*Insert public relations key message here*

We value our fans, we hear you, and we appreciate your support.

Daryl Katz

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God bless us. All of us. In between all his empty apologies and relocation threats, Führer has spiked season ticket prices so much that the only people who can afford to watch this liquid diarrhea of a hockey team are the people in his inner clique of billionaires. We’ve spent 10 years making miserable decisions from the front office all the way down to the fourth line and all we get back is a puke stained urinal of hope that unjustifiably costs more to look at every year. Who would have thought the last playoff game in Jungle history would have been a 4-0 win in the Cup finals. What a decade to be alive. I am so, so sorry, Connor.


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