Canadian High School Basketball Star Arrested For Actually Being 30

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Source – Canadian border officers have arrested an African man, believed to be 30 years old, who spent the last six months attending Catholic Central High School while posing as a teenager. Jonathon Nicola, who became a well-known high school basketball player, was being kept Wednesday at the South West Detention Centre. Nicola, at six-foot-nine and 202 pounds with a shoe size of 16, had been attending Catholic Central as a 17-year-old Grade 11 student. He was also a star on the Catholic Central Comets senior boys’ basketball team. He was even living with Comets head coach Pete Cusumano through a program called Canada Homestay, which finds homes for foreign students. Cusumano said Wednesday he wasn’t allowed to talk about the situation. But back in January, Cusumano told the Star in an interview for a feature story that Nicola was so good for a young ballplayer that he had a shot at going to the NBA. Nicola told the Star in the January feature story that he arrived in Windsor on Nov. 22, 2015, just three days before his 17th birthday. He said he left South Sudan, his disease-ridden, wartorn home, for a better life in Windsor. “A few of my friends know of my background, how we live over there,” he said in January. “I don’t know how many of them have a clue of how it is in Africa.” Nicola said in January it took him six months to acquire a Canadian student visa.

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This is a phenomenal story. No shit Jonathon Nicola plays well enough for a shot at the NBA. He could probably make the Sixers tomorrow, and that would still make more sense than playing against kids half his age. What I would have paid to watch Johnny Basketball dunk all over high school kids because he’s actually a full grown man. Just a bunch of little good Canadian kids from Sarnia trying to enjoy a fun game of high school basketball against peers, then in comes a 30-year-old Jonathon Nicola straight outta Africa blocking their shots into the sixth row like he’s Dikembe fucking Mutombo. God I respect that move. That’s like literally anytime you go to the outdoor rink now and schoolyard bully junior high kids, except toe dragging a 12-year-old into oblivion on a public rink will not get you arrested. Being 30 and saying your 17 so you can lead the Windsor Catholic Central Comets to the ‘ship while posting numbers not seen since Wiggins will undoubtedly get you arrested, thanks to an outstanding job by the Canadian embassy in South Sudan. Great work on the visa guys, mailtime city. Do you think he partied with his teammates too? For sure he went out and ripped up Windsor with the boys when they body bagged Riverside 77-29. We could be looking at so many other charges here, all because J-Nics wanted to live the dream like Matt Perry in 17 Again. And how did his coach not know? He had to be in on it so WCC could stomp all over the league. Don’t blame him, guy’s just out to win. But don’t act like you had no idea that the man living in your house for six months was a literal adult. You don’t house a 30-year-old for half a year and still believe he’s 17. I also LOVE how he straight up looks like he’s at least in his late twenties, but nobody wanted to say anything because racism. Like ok, you try telling the six-foot-nine, 200 pound basketball juggernaut from South Sudan that it doesn’t look like he belongs with a bunch of teenage Canadian kids. This is Canada, and this is 2016. We don’t racism bro.

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