Today in Winnipeg: Selena Gomez Couldn’t Go Outside Due To “Safety”
They make it too easy for me sometimes. Poor Selena just wanted to go outside, maybe roll down Portage and Main, check out the flourishing scenery in the budding metropolis of Winnipeg. However, her majesty was forced to stay indoors because the City of Dreams is about as safe as Jultz in the defensive zone. Just imagine the type of hooligans pouring out of the Rum Hut on a Friday night. No one can blame her for wanting to stay at the MTS Centre instead of testing the waters of Winnipeg. Christ I’m scared to go outside when I storm into their town like Normandy for the Heritage Classic.
Seriously though, what kept her indoors other than your average hammered drunk Peggers? Like I’m pretty sure there are booze hounds at all her concerts. God knows she probably had to deal with some Jungle Jagaloons when she made her way to the Concrete District. But there had to be some pretty crazy shit going down if she was forced to stay indoors, and I need to know what that was. That’s SO Winnipeg. My best guess is that Tommy Wilson fed her a piece of advice during a quiet evening of Netflix and chill. Probably checked out her Canada leg and went “oh boy, watch out for Winnipeg” and she (probably rightfully) hit the panic button as soon as she landed in the 204.