Game Day: Winnipeg @ Concrete District

winnipeg-colder-than-mars

Fuck these guys.

Tonight’s a big one, three down fans, as the 2-2 Esks welcome the Hamlet of Winnipeg into the Concrete District. Anytime we play these bums it’s a must win, but especially tonight:

The CFL’s Ben Scrivens gets the start against his former club. Matty “never been ice even once in his life” Nichols will be tossing incompletions for the Bombers tonight. Since leaving the defending champs, Matt has gone an impressive 2-5 with seven interceptions.

Need to Know

Fresh off the most dominating loss of the 2016 season, Mike Reilly was named the Three Down’s Player of the Week. His shoulders will probably be doing their usual amount work tonight as he, once again, looks to carry an entire team to victory.

Which Bomber Sucks

This one’s easy.

matt-nichols-fumble

Matt Nichols was so terrible in 2015 that even the 5-13 Bombers didn’t want to bring him back. His two wins for the ‘Peg came against the god awful BC Lions, and the division 3 Riders. He is a big, living, swarm of poop. The only reason he was resigned by the City of Dreams is because Drew Willy is the CFL’s butt fumble. And truthfully, I kind of wish he was starting tonight. Instead, it’s the lesser of two shits. Nichols is also the second former QB to play the Eskimos in the last five days, and we all know how well that went against Masoli. I swear to god if Winnipeg beats us with Nichols.

Which Bomber Doesn’t Suck

 

justin-medlock-punter

Justin Medlock is leading the league in punt yards because Winnipeg is perpetually punting the ball. He’s also one of like three players in the league who still does both punting and kicking duties. Way to go, Justin.

How We Will Win

Show up? Play a standard cover 2 defense and intercept Nichols every third throw? We don’t have the pressure of Flo Rida in the house tonight so no excuses.

Prediction

Anything less than a blowout is unacceptable. Two of our receivers are better than Winnipeg’s entire city. Mike Reilly is the GOAT. I know our defense is Swiss cheese but this one shouldn’t even be a problem for them. The only team in the league who’s scored less than Winnipeg this year is Montreal – who have somehow only scored 59 points in a league with end zones the size of Jupiter. We win this one 42-16. Mike Reilly comes out in the third quarter with a strong case of the blowout. Matt Nichols is caught guzzling drinks in the End Zone pub at half.

PS – Quick shout out to the only thing worth mentioning in Winnipeg since Teemu Selanne, the Winnipeg beer snake:

winnipeg-beer-snake

This is, I guess, a daily ritual at Investors Group Field. Apparently in Winnipeg, when you’re not devouring beers at the Rum Hut, you’re getting hosed in the bleeders and stacking your cups to the moon. Unbelievable. I’ve never felt this close to Winnipeg. Might be the only city in North America that drinks more than we do. Get bent right over, but mad respect for annihilating your livers like we do.

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