Bachelorette Finale Live Blog: Jordan vs. Robbie


Did this at the end of the Bachelor with a surprising amount success. So I’ve decided to do a live blog of the Jorbbie battle for Jojo. As usual, I’ll be updating it as the show goes on, so keep checking for updates. But for now, let’s begin by meeting the contestants.


In this corner, standing in at who the hell cares, with a career TD:INT ratio of 8:5. He was the favourite from the start. His substantially more famous brother hates him. The pride of Chico, California. Jordan Rodgers, Vanderbilt.



In this corner, he’s a former professional swimmer. He more than likely dumped his girlfriend to be on the show. He also said I love you to Jojo after his first date. This guy definitely fucks. His name is Robbie.


I promise you Jordan Rodgers has never faced a defense tougher than Jojo’s family just blitzed him with. Christ, Aaron maybe has never seen an attack like that. My God. That was murder to watch.


Ok, so Robbie has this thing in the bag. Game. Over.


Jojo saying she’ll wonder what she missed out on if she picks one guy over the other basically summed up the entire premise of the show.

Also, just seen a commercial for a movie with a plot of Kevin Spacey being trapped in the body of a cat. Preposterous career move.


She’s not going to pick either of them, isn’t she? Like I’m going to spend three hours watching this while blogging my ass off for her to decide she can’t marry either one. Sucks to be me right now.


The obvious thing that’s happening: Robbie is flat out dominating the game, but Jojo clearly wants Jordan to win. So to answer my question, no, she will not pick anybody today. Boom, everything’s roasted.


Jordan asking Jojo’s parents for permission over the phone was an all-time desperation play. Sometimes that goes like this:



RIP Robbie. So nobody every stood a chance against Jordan, no matter how much he kind of sucked.

Oh my that was kind of heartbreaking. And Chad smashed Robbie’s ex, just to add salt to the wound. Smell ya never, Robbie’s confidence.



I was wrong, that happens a lot. Jordan gets his first win in a while. I cannot wait to see how awkward it is when Aaron skips the wedding.

[updated: 11:00]