The Afternoon After Blog: Back in the Penthouse


First off, apologies for this coming out so late. In case you live under a rock, there was a major DDoS attack on DNS servers this morning. I’ll spare you the boring technical details that you don’t care about, but basically one of the biggest website hosts in the world was attacked by hackers, causing a plethora of servers to go down, including the luikes of internet juggernauts such as Twitter, and ENS. Anyways, the issue has been resolved, and we’re (I’m) back in the office.

When you look at that bench above, what do you see? Many of you will say the obvious: I see Lucic, Big Pou, Nuge, the Big Rig, Pitty, Leon, and Kass. And literally, you’re correct. That’s what’s there. But that’s not what I see, oh no. I see power. I see pride. I see some bad ass mothers, who don’t take no crap from nobody! That’s a game I think all of us expected the Oilers to lose, and they didn’t. They came out and faced a team who has typically punched us in the mouth every time we’ve played them, but we weren’t letting them have it last night. Nope. We stood up to the neighbourhood bullies and fought back, and earned a hardworking W. That’s the Oilers hockey I could get used to watching for the next 20 years. Lucic said it best:


This right here, ladies and gentlemen, are the new Edmonton Oilers. Blues tendy Jake Allen reiterated that point:

Best season ever!!! (Since like 2006). Also, you’re welcome for the Cool Runnings quote to start your weekend.

1st Period

The Oilers came out of the gate for what we can all agree was a successful first period. St. Louis has typically suffocated us early on, then lulled us to sleep while cruising to a 4-1 win in the past. Instead, the Oilers did a good job at withstanding the Blues’ attack, and kept the game scoreless after one. Another solid period for the Ice Man, who stopped all 11 shots he faced.

The best part of the period wasn’t the play on the ice, it was the tribute by the Oilers for none other than an ENS first ballot hall of famer, Nail Yakupov, who was given a touching standing ovation by the fans:


Yak had a great interview with Gene after the first. Yak forever.


2nd Period

Wait for it…


The curse is real, folks. All these make believe curses blah blah blah the Madden Curse, the Bambino, Steve Bartman, who cares. Don’t believe any of that shit. Stop sucking. The Former Oiler curse is very real, and still happening today. Yak has two goals in his last 400 games and one of them came yesterday against us. People everywhere cursed. Hank wept. And nobody was happier than this guy:


He was estatic on the bench. Haven’t seen a smile that big since Puljujarvi discovered fire. Good for Yak. Only 13 more to go #drivetokeepthe2ndalive

But the Yak attack was short lived. Chef Pitty with the response!


Jake Allen would argue goaltender interference despite being 57 feet outside the crease, but to no avail. Tie game.

Also Connor made Bobby Bortuzzo look like a goddamn statue:



3rd Period

Despite being completely dominated by the Blues, the Oilers score two goals and St. Louis scored none. Last time I checked, that means victory. Yes. Milan Lucic got the ball rolling with his second as an Oiler on a sexy little pass by Connor.


Ugh. Six to hard midnight. I could get used to watching that for the next six years. Pulled Jay Bow and Pietrangelo right over to Sherwood Park leaving Looch wide open for the one tee. Textbook.

Connor would end up icing the game with his first ever ENG, and even that was a highlight.

That speed kills. David Perron, you got ROASTED. What a moron.

3-1 Oilers!


Final Thoughts

Connor’s el Dios.



…sort of, again. Vancouver simply does not want to suck. Gotta respect their resiliency. It’s like they don’t care that 16/17 is the year of the Oilers. I honestly have no idea how they’re 4-0. Really. No clue. Every game they’ve won has been by one goal. That’s the most unconvincing 4-0 team ever. Can’t wait ’til the new Oilers get a chance to smoke these punks in a week.

The most important game of the year is on Sunday. I don’t care if we lose all 76 games after that, as long as we win that one. I’ve been waiting since February 13th to obliterate the Jets outdoors.

Tyler Pitlick has been money. My man, TP. Or, dare I say it, Teeps.

Kris Russell is the best Oilers defenseman right now and I don’t care if you think otherwise.

The Big Rig didn’t find the score sheet, which means no t-shirt giveaway. But that’s ok, because I’ve already bought three.



Did I not say the Ice Man would be back?

Calgary STINKS. Stupid idiots couldn’t even beat Carolina.

Honestly, it feels damn good to be good. I could get used to this life.

Hottest Tweet of the Night

Goddamn right we do, Sneaker Head Cheng.


If the game was a song….

It’s time to relaunch the greatest that was the Oilers Song by the Logan Alexis Singers. You may remember them dropping this missile outside of the Concrete Jungle last year to honour Connor McDavid. Apologies if I juts broke the internet again.


Most Outstanding Player

Cam Talbot. The Ice Man.


Guy’s only had a save percentage below .900 just one time this year. He also now leads the NHL in wins. An Oilers goalie leads the NHL in wins. Think about that.

Gator’s Grinder of the Game™



Aweeee yeah. Another GGG for Milan the Menacing Man.Guy even rocked the team’s new Harley Davidson bucket after the W. Early candidate for Gatro’s Grinder of the Year.

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