The Morning Af…WHO ARE THESE OILERS?!?

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Let’s see: Last night, I buried two pounds of wings, had maybe one or two fun pops, tried to watch the new Alice in Wonderland before passing out on the couch, and your boy left Hudson’s with a $20 gifty:

Ugh, hell ya. Oh, and the Edmonton Oilers are 6-1.

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FOUR STRAIGHT! We did that once last year. We also didn’t have our sixth win until Remembrance Day. Ok, who are you and what have you done to my Oilers?? Do these guys even exist anymore?

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It’s like a figment of our imagination at this point. I love being the best. It’s so damn good. Montreal can never lose in regulation and I’ll still say the Oilers are the best team. When you’re this close to the top you round up anyways, little trick us best teams do to make ourselves sound even better.

I don’t think people had fully bought into the Oilers yet. Like sure, 5-1 was great. But you’re only as impressive as the teams you beat. And beating up on bums, has beens, and borderline AHL goaltending doesn’t get the adults off their seats. Well, putting four passed Braden Holtby certainly does. The hockey world wanted to know if we’re real? Well sup guys, we’re real.

1st Period

Honestly, just a solid period of hockey for both teams. Holtby and Ice Man were playing lights out. Teams both generated some solid chances. Nothing out of the ordinary.

0-0

…and then, the Oilers Twitter account tweeted this work of art:

And that’s all it took. I cat really explain it, but this was the exact moment where I knew it was over for Washington. Like when the Knights of the Vale showed up at the Battle of the Bastards, you knew Jon Snow was going home a champion. This was our Knights of the Vale. That van Gogh masterpiece single-handedly changed the game.

2nd Period

Big Pou!!!!

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OH YOU LIKE THAT?! There’s more!

Had to get the Oilers’ tweet in there. Nothing more deadly than a sneaky Pou.

2-0 Oilers “OH THIS TEAM’S LEGIT!” – Edmonton, collectively after 40.

3rd Period

“OH NO WHAT HAPPENED?!” – Edmonton, nine seconds into the third.

They’re playing a perfect game, and then five Oilers collectively decided it was a good idea to leave Alex Ovechkin wide open in front. And just when I thought they couldn’t possibly be any dumber, they go and do something like this…

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….and totally redeem themselves! That’s the Big Rig on the doorstep!!! And guess who got the assists?! Obviously Connor, because he’s magnificent. And YOUR BOY!!

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His first point since opening night! Might be enough to keep him in the Chel for another month. Awesome. Need more Pool Party.

And can we talk about that rush by el Connor for uno momento?

That’s John Carlson, ladies and gentlemen. Connor torched him. That’s for 2010, bum.

Oh, and the Lords of the Pac-7 weren’t done:

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Looch, just because. And another point for Connor, who predictably blew right by Auston Matthews last night.

4-1, final, like my odds of not putting on clothes today.

Final Thoughts

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!))))))))))))))))))

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Comfortable three point cushion on the next closest team in the West. We can make that even bigger once we’re done taking apart the Canucks on Friday.

I fucking nailed the game day predictions.

This is a real life thing:

Jesus lord that’s impressive

This is beautiful:

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Congratulations on two straight, Calgary! Almost at .500 now!!!

Hottest Tweet of the Night

Mouth pumping is unbelievable.

If the game were a song…

‘Everything is Awesome’ by the Lego Movie

 

Most Outstanding Player

Know what? I’ve been cruel to him all year. I nicknamed him ‘Big Pou’. He’s basically the only player I’ve chewed into this season, a new record for seven Oilers games. So I’m giving this game’s most outstanding player to Benoit Pouliot.

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Big Pou finished the game with a Pouliot double-double (two goals, two penalties).

Gator’s Grinder of the Game™

BIG RIG. Let’s see that goal one more time:

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God dammit yes.

Can’t believe we’ve played seven games and this is the Big Rig’s first GGG. Incredible. This award was basically made for him and Looch to dominate. But he’s on the board now, so I expect him to let loose.

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