We’re Back: Kings @ Oilers

Hockey was back a couple of days ago but ya boys return to the Rogers Public Library tonight in a massive divisional tilt. For the first time since almost ever, we’re playing meaningful games in December. How good does that feel am I right? Well it’s absolutely imperative that we keep this going. See, the thing about playing good is that once you start doing it, it’s all you want to do. There’s no more moral victories in this town. I legitimately believe we’re a top 10 team in this league. Now we need to continue to play like that.

Two big things happened while we stuffed our faces with turkey:

1: We’ve fallen three points behind Saint Joseph for first:

Relatively normal stuff. Think we all expected it what with San Jose having approximately 31 games in hand. Think I’m more surprised that Gary Hathaway and the Calgary Flames have one more win than us. How?! They don’t even have one of them Connors! Makes no sense to me.

Speaking of, you’re not going to like #2:

Lineup

Remember when Friggin Todd took Lucic off el Connor’s line for five minutes in Friday night’s game and McFormerScoringLeader immediately got two points? Here’s your 11 a.m. reminder that common sense is never a guarantee with this team.

Jesse’s still playing on the third line with no PP time at all because Bob Nicholson is (creating overpriced burgers, and) running the franchise, and Hockey Canada wanted nothing to do with this superhero in the World J’s:

No Rej, meaning Matty Vegas draws back in.

Tonight’s Opponent

The Angles Kings

Why They Stink

August 9, 1988

Why Their Fans Stink

The most annoying thing west of Toronto is when these idiots play that Cartman voice yelling “Go Kings Go!” to fire up their B-list celebrities. I’d would rather listen to three straight hours of Jets fans booing Dylan Larkin over that ear-piercing blab of nonsensical bullshit.

Which King Stinks

The Kings brought Peter Budaj back from the dead after Quick’s injury and the Slovakian Raycroft has somehow won 15 games, ruining any possibility I had of witnessing greatness in the return of former human shooter tutor Ondrej Pavelec. Goddammit.

Why They Might Not Stink

Stop me if you’ve heard this before but LA’s a Pacific Division opponent who generally pummel the Oil for something to do.

The Roundup

Sidney Crosby is out to prove that he’s better than el Connor and as a result he has more goals right now than he had points on this day last season. Just the Oilers making hockey great again. You’re welcome, NHL.

There is a battle between two kings. In this corner, we have Sid the Adult. In the other, Connor. Both players are doing the unthinkable. Sid is making Justin Schultz look like Kris Letang, and Connor is making the Oilers win hockey games. But, there can only be one…

Also, the literal Kings are in town tonight and they just lost to the Peewee AA Canucks last night so hey, two points would be ideal.

Prediction

Two points! (For Connor and the Oilers)

Edmonton wins 4-2 on goals from Connor, Big Rig, Letestu (he’s 5th [!!!!!!!!!!!] on the team in scoring), and Leon.

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