This Oilers NOW Caller Carving The Oilers For Three Straight Minutes Is A Must Hear

NOBODY WENT OUT AND GAVE HIM A SMOKE’ER IN THE CHOPS OR NUTHIN!!!

Holy shit…that was gold. Pure gold of epic proportions. Thank you, Abe!! This is exactly what Oil Country needed to hear after six straight homicidal days. First of all, there’s no doubt in my mind that Abe is the biggest Oilers fan in the city, probably regular watches three down football to if we’re being real here. He’s for sure never missed a moment when he’s dropping stat bombs like “When you win the opening draw, you win the game 90% of the time.”

brian-fantana-60-of-the-time-it-works-every-time-anchorman

Genius. Pure genius. I’m so sold on that theory that I’ve already bought stock into it and am thinking about getting t-shirts made. I’m so sold on that theory that I will actually probably monitor this for the rest of the year. I’m so, SO sold on that theory that I’m convinced we shouldn’t start McDaddy for the rest of the year, just to be sure we won’t lose the opening faceoff. Hot fire take after hot fire take after hot fire take. In fact, that entire clip was just one gigantic factory of hot takes. I’m fairly sure he was talking about healthy scratching Todd McLellan. Eberle going for an eye exam, genius. Big Poo being shot to outer space, love it. All this, and THEN you add in the fact that Abe is without question the most Canadian sounding man in the history of Canada. He is literally speaking Canadian that entire time, demonstrated by his ability to perfectly enunciating “nuthins'” and “aboots”. So well, in fact, that it almost seemed fake–but you know it’s real, because you just damn well know Abe chases his Canadian Club with Pilsner, owns multiple flannels, and has never even once considered spitting his chew. Smoke’er right in the chops…god yes, guys. God yes so much. If that’s not enough to light a fire under the boys’ asses then I’m not sure anything is.


You may also like...