Black Monday: Pool Party Sent To The Minors, Gustavsson Sent To The Moon

Live look at Jonas heading to Bakersfield:

First thing’s first, called it:

Jonas Gustavsson needed to be placed into the Space Launch System with the sole intent of being skyrocketed to Andromeda II. That guy was all kinds of miserable suck. His last two starts single-handedly cost us four points. If this was 2014 we probably would have shrugged it off and chalked it up to ‘LOL Oilerz!’ but this is 2017. That shit don’t fly no more. So good goddamn riddance. There is absolutely no chance he is getting claimed.

Now for the tough one:

Look, I knew this would come. We all knew it would come. I didn’t want to admit it, but it was totally unavoidable. It’s never easy saying goodbye to a friend who you’ve never actually met, but that’s what I’m left with here. They finally #freedJesse. It may not have been with a promotion to the first line like I’ve been begging for, but it’s a start. At least now he won’t be rotting in the press box while Matty Ice trips over his own two feet and Benoit Pouliot takes a penalty from the dressing room between periods and Jordan Eberle gets bumped off the puck by a fart. Has the club’s management handled this situation well? Jesus god no. They’ve borderline butchered it. The Pistol put his otherwise flawless reputation of handling young players on the line here and it’s semi-blown up in his face. But this was the right call. About 30 games too late, but still, finally the right call. And you know damn well Jesse’s smiling all the way down to Bakersfield. He’s a machine programmed to only smile at all times, even after receiving shit news. Good luck, sweet prince. I’ll miss your smile. I’ll miss your heart. I’ll miss your obtuse understanding of basic English. But most of all, I’ll just really miss your face (literally). We’ll see you soon, brother.

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1 Response

  1. johanna says:

    Nice words, beautiful sentences!