Columbus Hasn’t Lost In A Goddamn Month: Oilers @ Jackets

The Columbus Blue Jackets are 26-5-4…

They’re undefeated since November 26. They’re undefeated in regulation since November 23. They have accumulated 33 out of a possible 34 points in their last 17 games. This, I remind you, is the Columbus Blue Jackets we’re talking about here. Not the Penguins. Not the Blackhawks. The Blue Jackets.

I don’t like it either. This is some moon in retrograde shit.


Rejy’s back AND McDavid is playing with the Big Rig so you know there are points to be had tonight. Talbot might start every game for the rest of the year.

Why They Stink

Their last loss was a shootout loss against the Panthers. Their last regulation loss was a few days before that, against Calgary. You idiots beat everybody and you couldn’t beat both of my arch rivals. You suck and you know it.

Also, thanks for this guy:

The day my life changed forever was the day Columbus’s Finnish GM picked Pierre-Luc Dubois. leaving the Pistol with my boy. The man. The myth. The pizza exterminator.


Why Their Fans Stink

They’ve won 15 straight games, are the best team in the NHL by an entire generation, and yet they’re still having trouble putting butts in seats. Columbus is third last in arena capacity percentage this season, only ahead of the ‘Yotes and the ‘Canes. Tonight, they have a shot at winning their 16th straight game–something only one other team in NHL history has ever done–AND on top of all that el Connor is in town, yet you can still buy lower bowl seats tonight for $82. I don’t want to think about what we’d have to pay to sit in row 1,000 if we won 15 straight.

Which Jacket Stinks

Pretty tough to find a player from the 2012 draft who’s stinkier than Nail Yakupov but Ryan Murray is damn close. I still think Columbus could get more than a third that changes into a second with 15 goals and magic beans for that pylon but I don’t know. I’m just a blogger.

Why They Might Not Stink

Well, you know.

The Roundup

This stat is repulsive:

Ok. So el Connor just clobbers teams when he’s getting matched up.

The little pip-squeak Johnny Gaudreau thinks she’s so good yet gets pulverized in road match ups. Meanwhile, McDaddy miraculously might even get better when the competition is more difficult. Either that or he’s sound asleep at the Jungle games too.

Anyways Columbus is really good. They actually started the season 0-2, meaning they’ve only tallied three (!!!!!!!!!) regulation losses in their last 33 games. But think back to that middle of December game where we played some of the worst hockey I’ve ever watched and the Jungle crowd simply vanished and we were playing the still then hottest team in the league, and we still only lost in overtime? They’re beatable. Anything Calgary can do I know damn well we can too.

From a divisional perspective, we’ve slipped to third in the PAC after Anaheim’s win on Sunday. Still two back of the Sharks, who have still somehow played less games than us even though we’ve played like maybe, what, twice since Christmas? Ugh. These playoff races are frustrating shit. I can see why Tambo and Mac just simply avoided them. It’s weird though, being in January and having every game, every point, and every everything matter. Just have to get used to it, I guess.

Also, of course Sam Gagner is having a career year. Of course he is.


Remember this electrifying moment of murder?

There were multiple casualties. Careers were ended. Justin Falk has nothing left from the kneecaps down. Joonas Korpisalo is never leaving Cleveland again. That has nothing to do with anything other than I hope it still resonates in their skulls.

We all know we’re snapping their streak tonight, right? Connor’s playing with el Grande Rig, Rej is back, Iceman cometh. Jesse’s dressing. As shitty as their crowd has been all season I do expect it to be better than the one we seen in Montreal last night (woof), so the boys should be fired up to play. Oilers win 5-3. Connor, Connor, Big Rig from Connor, Jesse, Eberle with an ENG.

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