You’re Going To Watch The Canada Game Instead: Oilers @ Bruins

I mean, I’d be stunned if more than 5% of you would prefer watching this over the gold medal game. I actually debated whether I should even write this one, but then remembered I want to be the one that said “I told you so” when the Oilers cremate the Bruins at the GAAAAAAAADEN. Also I get paid by myself to do this, so. Fair warning, I am fully on Canada mode and haven’t thought much of the Oilers, so I don’t care as much today.

Lineup

#freeJesse

That first line though…

 

And Tony Lander’s back up! Tony’s the second longest serving Edmonton Oiler behind the ghost of Jordan Eberle. Think about that.

And Iceman in the crease, because duh.

Tonight’s Opponent

BASTAAAAAAAAAN BROOOOOOONS

Why They Stink

Sneaky below average team, thanks to the Pistol pretty much dismantling everything they had going there. Also one of the few teams in the league with a worse home record than the boys.

Why Their Fans Stink

Have you ever met anyone from Boston? They’re like Newfies on bath salts. I’ve never been to Boston, or anywhere in New England for that matter, but I can imagine walking into Sullivan’s in Charlestown and seeing Patrick O’Callahan suckering a yuppie between the eyes because he called Dustin Pedroia overrated.

Which Bruin Stinks

Fuck Jack Edwards with the hammer of Thor.

Why They Might Not Stink

Vancouver winning six straight is proof that anything is possible in hockey. So I guess the B’s could beat us too.

The Roundup

Basically everything that could have gone wrong last night went wrong. I legit think every PAC team won, except Arizona, who played Vancouver.

Tonight is extremely winnable and to be very honest, I’d be furious if the Oil came out with an effort like they had in Columbus. That kind of a dump may have been acceptable in years past, but we’re a different team now. We’re trying to establish a new culture and I don’t want to see that shit anymore. Friggin’ Todd shouldn’t either. And that starts with the leaders. Would any of the three alternates like to step up and help out Connor? Jordan Eberle was spewing the same rhetoric that he and this team has collectively spewed since 2010 after Tuesday’s loss, and that was extremely disappointing to hear.

Oh it wasn’t our best effort, oh we know we have to be better. Boo fucking hoo, man. Do something about it. This guy’s maybe the only player in the league that can spend like an entire month on Connor’s McWing and only get one goal. Even Nail Yakupov looked like a valuable athlete on a line with McDavid. I desperately need this team, and in particular the coaching staff and leadership core, to step up when we shit the bed like we’ve done the last two games, otherwise we risk falling exactly back to where we were the last 10 years. And I know goddamn well I don’t want to go back there. We’ve come too far, and I’ve only very recently discovered that I thoroughly enjoy being a good team.

Also, Jesse on the fourth line is blood-boilingly upsetting.

Prediction

6-3 Oilers. No idea why, it just feels right. Now go get ready for the Canada game.

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