Best vs. Best: Oilers @ Capitals

The league’s best scorer against the league’s best team. Can’t wait to hear Drew Remenda butcher this one.

Lineup

Still no Larsson, but Rejy’s back. Iceman’s going for W32.

In other news:

Daryl’s so, soooooooo close. A healthy Oil D of 77-6, 2-4, 83-25 legitimately makes me fuzzy.

Tonight’s Opponent

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Why They Stink

It’s every year with these shit baskets. They’ve been around for almost 45 years and have only made it to the Conference Finals twice. That’s worse than Canucks bad.

The modern-era Washington Capitals spend the regular season piledriving their way through the entire league, only to get bounced by Pittsburgh or New York in the second round. Did you know that Alex Ovechkin has never made it beyond the second round in his NHL career? Even Peter Bondra got the Caps to the Cup Finals. I’d be aggressively disappointed if we spent the bulk of Connor’s career getting eliminated before the May long weekend.

This all should come as no surprise, given the Capitals do still hold the record for worst season in NHL history, by a goddamn landslide. In their expansion 1974-75 year, the Capitals stumbled their pathetic way to a ridiculous 8-67-5. EIGHT wins!!! Their starter was former Oilers’ head coach Ron Low. His GAA that season was 5.45. We paid this guy to be our head coach and still won 24 games*:

*We were actually only on pace for 18 before Todd the God stepped in and won us just enough games to land el Daddy.

Why Their Fans Stink

The same fan base caught on film chanting all sorts of homophobic shit also apparently loses their marbles when Islanders fans piss on their cars:

Smith’s scathing open letter to the Islanders described the alleged abuse he and his group received while attending the game. According to his account — plus some photographic evidence — that abuse included:

  • A beer poured on his head
  • Homophobic slurs hurled their way
  • His “Unleash the Fury” towel ripped out of his hand
  • Racist commentary directed at a specific member of his group
  • A bottle thrown at the group
  • A rear license plate stolen from a group member’s car
  • That car getting keyed twice
  • Profane group chants.
  • An Islanders fan nearly starting a fight with the group in the parking lot after the game, then urinating in front one of their cars, such that the owner of the car had to unlock it while standing in the puddle.

Alright, Smith. You hypocritical imbecile. Maybe do your research before heading to the Coliseum one time? That’s the place where children are conceived in the parking lot. That’s the same fan group that yanked chairs out of the old barn before the playoffs were even over, because why not. Islanders fans are hockey’s Bills Mafia, and that Caps fan is butt hurt about having his shitty town yanked from his hands, and being forced to unlock his car in a puddle of human piss? Welcome to Nassau.

Which Capital Stinks

Tom Wilson. Colossal idiot. Played it cool about Selena and now she’s smashing the Weeknd. Haven’t seen a blowout that bad since Super Bowl 48. Abel Tesfaye–good Canadian kid with a shit awful haircut–has been perpetually dropping fire after fire while casually playing VS fashion shows. Tom, meanwhile, has 13 points in 59 games.

Why They Might Not Stink

This was really, really cool:

God knows how many life-threatening stomach ulcers the Caps gave their president by bringing in a person with both “Fatima” and “Ali” in her name just days after Trump’s inauguration but goddammit I love it. Mad respect, Teddy Leonsis. Mad respect.

The Roundup

Three of five is a good sign though, right?

LA lost last evening, but Calgary managed to somehow rip off a dub in Tampa. Anaheim is idle, as are the Sharks. My guess is the Oilers magic number is 12 (any combination of 12 wins and/or 12 losses by either the Flames or the Kings) to officially clinch. Doesn’t seem like much given the year we’ve had but in 21 games, 12 more wins would be half of what we had in the entire 2014-15 season (1 B.C.).

Standing in the way of that number dipping to 11 is only the best team in the NHL. How good are the Caps? At one point, the Jackets ripped off 17 straight wins, and Washington still has eight more points than them. They only have 12 regulation losses all year, including:

Can’t believe I’m going to say this, but we’re going to have to do this one without Pouliot tonight.

Leading the way for Washington is once again Brayden Holtby, whose 30 wins are just one behind the Iceman in nine less games, and whose 1.99 GAA is first among the league’s starters. The forward Nicklas Backstrom is having a monster year, sitting only five points back of Daddy for the league lead. Ovie’s having a “down year” with just 27 goals and 54 points in 57 games, which would be second on the Oilers in points, and first in goals.

Prediction

Anyways, I’m not concerned. Daddy’s two shy of 70 and the Oil are two shy of being just one back of the Sharks, so 4-2 Oil. Book it. Connor becomes the first player this season to reach the 70 point plateau. Leon gets two goals. Even Looch gets one tonight, I’m feeling lucky. Big test tonight, here we go boys!


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