Love Is In The Air And Stuff: Coyotes @ Oilers

That auto-shed is still the only thing faster than Connor McDavid with the puck.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Gene’s going to drop about 1,100 ‘love’ puns tonight hahaha okay it’s vodka o’clock now.

Lineup

Iiro the Hero hath returned, and Iceman cometh. All fine. This is not fine:

Can someone tell me how Matty Vegas still isn’t ripping hell from the point on any of our PP’s yet? And can someone else tell me what Drake Caggiula has done to deserve any man advantage time? RNH is that unit’s second toughest player, and they’ve basically alienated the Big Rig what with the shin pad assassin and this guy:

Jay Woodcroft well on his way to being the first ever back to back Dallas Eakins Award winner.

Tonight’s Opponent

Arizona Coyotes

What’s New That Stinks

Look, we’ve gone through this four times already. You and I both know why these bums stink, will continue to stink, and have historically stunk. What you might not know, however, is that the Yotes had an arena deal on the table with Tempe that they were so excited about. Look at this architectural boner:

Holy shit biscuit. It looks like there’s a retractable roof on that bad boy. Yes, the Yotes were working together with ASU to build a facility practically on campus with hopes of stuffing thousands of college kids into a brand new arena for dirt cheap to go watch a sports team do sports. Sounds exactly like an Eskimos game, minus the new barn and the whole ASU thing.

Ya, Commonwealth has the End Zone Pub.

Yotes’ ownership was so excited that they’ve spent the last month bashing the City of Glendale for their refusal to support their dumpster fire of an organization. And in the most typical Coyotes way possible, the Tempe deal just very recently fell through. Now they’re being forced to go back to the mayor that they’ve literally tasered.

What’s Always Stunk

Meanwhile, the Gila River Arena is still painfully empty amidst rumors that Yotes ownership has recently toured the Moda Center in Portland… Portland, Seattle’s boring, somehow even more hippy half-cousin.

Which Yote Stinks

THIS IS THEIR SECOND LINE!!!!:

They beat Calgary 5-0 yesterday haha what. Alex Burmistrov was waived by the new Jets and is now centering line deuce in Glendale. That’s how bad this team is.

Why They Might Not Stink

There was that like 27 game stretch that we don’t talk about anymore.

The Roundup

Naturally beat the goddamn Coyotes tonight, you imbeciles.

Prediction

5-1. McDavid with four. Kassian fights everyone.

Last time we have to play the Coyotes this year!


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