The Biggest Game of the Year: Oilers @ Ducks

“The biggest game of the year.” I haven’t used this phrase much. I probably will a dozen times between now and the end of my playoff beard. But until this very point, this is the biggest game of our year. For both teams, actually. I don’t need to embed the standings into this blog. You all know them. You know that five points is all that separates first from fourth in the PAC. You know that Ovi ran a train on the Flames last night. And as if this game wasn’t big enough, San Jose lost AGAIN! That’s four straight L’s for Saint Joseph. Both the Oilers and the Ducks are now four points back of the Sharks, each with a game in hand. Winner is two points back of the Sharks!!!

I want it. The drive for five, baby. Let’s go!

Lineup

See, Randy gets it. Good one, Mr. Carlyle.

Love that Tony’s back in but I’d still like to see JJ in for the Drake. And I’m guessing that means Gryba is playing for Matty Vegas again? Ah, oh boy. Grebe looked like he was skating in clay on Monday. Bold. But anyways, most importantly we got the Iceman comething for win number 38, and the Oil going for team win number 40 (!!!)!!! FOURTY WINS! The OILERS!! Could you imagine??

Tonight’s Opponent

Anaheim Ducks.

2016-17 Stats:

Season Series: 2-1 Oilers

Head-To-Head vs. Connor McDavid: 3 GP, 1 assist

Head-To-Head vs. Zack Kassian: 3 GP, this:

Ugh, yes. I could watch that on repeat for all the evers.

Why They Stink

I’m so unbelievably revved up for this game. As bad as I want Calgary in the first round I’d be more than okay with playing these rusty skid marks. I’m not even a little bit worried about Kesler shutting down Daddy. They’re old, and Randy is coaching their old legs into the dirt. Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry are having historically bad seasons. The Big Rig has three less goals than the two of them, combined, and Anaheim is still paying him to play for us. How’s Martin Gernat working out, guys? I’ll answer that: He has 12 points in 41 games with Sparta Praha in the Czech League. Thanks for the f-shack, Anaheim. Here’s Kevin Bieksa lying dead on his face:

Why Their Fans Stink

I want to hate on Snoop Dogg but I can’t. Fuck that guy is cool. Big Ducks fan. Loves hockey.

He’s been arrested about 58 times for possession and just refuses to give a single shit. Guy was banned from Norway for two years because he tried to bring weed and a whole shit load of money over the into the country, and responded by saying he could “live with the decision.” The NHL thought it’d be a great idea to have him DJ this year’s All Star Game, forgetting that Snoop has no idea what the word ‘censored’ means.

Man, what a character. Cannot wait to beat the wheels off his team in the first round.

Which Ducks Stink

As mentioned, I’d love to pummel the Flames in the first round. As much as that means cheering for Calgary at times, I want that. That said, the Ducks would be one helluva consolation prize. It’d be like beating Vancouver from about 2010. NOBODY sore losers like Kesler and Bieksa sore losers.

Look at that dumb, stupid face:

I would thoroughly enjoy seeing Connor do that to Kevin’s face.

 

Why They Might Not Stink

Andrew Cogliano is like Flint Tropics superfan, Dukes: He’s never missed a game.

The Roundup

The Drive for Five, let’s go turbo-streaking!

Prediction

I haven’t mentioned anything about what the Iceman has going on because naturally I haven’t mentioned that. And you shouldn’t either. Just sit back, relax, and watch as he cometh to history. Oilers win 6-0. Connor has two points in six career games against Anaheim so he’s due, gets three. Big Rig scores a pair against his former team. Lil Dave has been held off the sheet for a few straight so he puts one in too. 2nd Place!


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