It’s Game #69!: Stars @ Oilers

Game number 69… nice…

And Happy Pi Day! Calgary’s won 10 straight.


Pouliot will likely play anyways. And Calgary’s won six straight.

Iceman cometh.

Tonight’s Opponent

Dallas Stars

Why They Stink

Never forget baby. Never. Forget.


They beat us in approximately 15 straight playoff match ups but maaaaan, karma is a massive bitch. If you hit up the local MacDonald’s in Pribram, Czech Republic, Patty Stefan will make you your all day breakfast.

And, just because I’m still bitter about Calgary winning 10 straight:


Bob Cole alert!!! God do I ever want Sir Robert Cole to emcee my wedding.

Why Their Fans Stink

If you listen very carefully, you’ll hear eight Stars fans from the bleeders yell “Stars!” like blabbering imbeciles during that portion of the “Star Spangled Banner.”

Which Star Stinks

Casual reminder they pay Kari Lehtonen and Antti Niemi a combined $10.4 million and they currently rank 40th and 44th in GAA, respectively. Anders Nilsson has better numbers than the two of them, and he was built to let in goals.

Why They Might Not Stink

Ales Forever:


He was a treat to watch in his prime. Made art basically every time he touched the puck. Glad to see his hip, shoulder, head, wrist, other shoulder, and knee are still not completely biconical, and that he’s back on the ice after missing basically the entire year, again. Was sneaky wishing we’d send Dallas a conditional 7th for him at the deadline, just so the only living Oiler from our last playoff roster would have a chance to comeback and relive it, one more time.

The Roundup

ICYMI, Calgary’s won 10 straight. We haven’t won in 10 days. This is the result:

The Oilers are also playing to an abysmal 4-9-2 on Tuesdays this year. Random, but relevant, given the circumstances we face, and the day of the week that it is.

Luckily, the Stars are in town. They give up only about a billion goals per game, their defense peels like cheese strings, and their scoring has a tendency to disappear without notice. Deja vu, Oilers fans?

Anyways, our mini slide combined with St. Louis’s five game winning streak has brought the Blues to within striking distance of the boys for the first wildcard position (God, I hate saying wildcard. Get me back in the PAC standings please and thanks). I’m going to the game tonight. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Here we go.


I’m 1-0 with these babies this year, so let’s do it again:

We so badly need a win tonight. The Flames do not play the Oilers for the rest of the year, so there’s actually a chance they might win out. But I’m still confident that we’re at least better than Anaheim. Need to claw back into this thing. Most of the time I do these I make an extremely absurd and biased prediction based on my love for this team and my hate towards literally everyone else, but this is not one of those predictions. The Stars are a defensive liability. They’re built to allow players like Daddy to steamroll through whichever five idiots they have out there at any given time. Oil win 7-2. Statement game. Almost the whole league’s caught up to Connor in the scoring race, and every time that’s happened he’s exploded for a bunch. He gets four. The rest of the team makes magic. Iceman cometh. And for the love of all things that matter in this world, if this blows up in our face please Christ call Pool Party back up from the dead.

He fucks…

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