Home Ice Implications: Sharks @ Oilers

The playoff bound Edmonton Oilers return to action tonight. I just really wanted to say that. Ugh. Hell yes.

Good news, Edmonton! LA is losing to everybody but lol they beat the Flames yesterday. That means the PAC’s top three have a little breathing room now with six games to go. Tonight, we face a team that has just had one shit of a last two weeks, the Saint Joseph Sharks. Their only win came at the expense of the Rangers, who came to the west coast and did the Oilers just no favours at all. But we have the opportunity to make our own statement tonight. This one is huge, Edmonton. Let’s go to work.

Lineup

Matty Vegas is back!!

God that’s good news. Sniper Eric Gryba comes back out to make way for the kid from St. A. Let’s assume the forwards are the same. You already know who comeths.

Tonight’s Opponent

These guys!

Hahaha Christ, no matter how terrible Vancouver gets, laughing at their expense will never get old.

Why They Stink

Ben Scrivens made all his saves as an Edmonton Oiler in one game, against the Sharks.

Why Their Fans Stink

Going into what could be a potential first round matchup, let us never forget that they booed “O’Canada!”

Vociferous booing!!!!

Anyways.

These odious creatures have been the subject of playoff ridicule for the better part of 10 years. Here’s one particularly vile, homophobic creature who spoiled playoff date night simply by being a Sharks fan. Here’s the aftermath:

 

And here’s another angle, because Preds fans are hilarious:

 

I know it’s been years, but I still remember the playoffs in ’06 extremely well. There were no crowd fights against Carolina. There were no crowd fights against Detroit. There were no Ducks fans against the Anaheim. There were at least four crowd tilts that I could see in game three against the Sharks, and this is how they all started: Sharks fans rolled into town with their dicks swinging up 2-0 against the fellas, most of whom were grown ass men in face paint, like this humongous asshole right here:

The Oilers would go onto win in triple OT, and these mouth breathers couldn’t leave without saying what was on their mind. Instead of walking out in defeat, they just had to open their paint-infested mouths. That kind of shit didn’t fly at the Concrete Jungle. Maybe at Rogers Place, but never at the Jungle. Why they feel they need to say their piece after every loss instead of just taking it like the gargantuan choke of an organization they are is beyond me. They’re the butthurtiest of butthurt fans that exist. They’re like Greg Wyshynski and Jeff O’Neill balled up into one dump of a culture that chop their hands every power play while wearing fin hats and just the most repulsive shade of teal in the history of RBG. And can somebody please tell me where they get this entitlement from? They act like they’re the New England Patriots and talk like they’re the Oakland Raiders but when it’s all said and done they’re just Silicon Valley’s Vancouver Canucks. Their entire fan base is a byproduct of only child syndrome.

Which Shark Stinks

I’d say Mikkel Boedker but if I do he’ll score 15 tonight.

The Roundup

Just casually going for our second four game winning streak of the month. Every game now matters with just six to go. LA beat Matt Tkachuk’s Flames literally out of the building last night (IGGY) but Anaheim plays the Jets tonight, and we all know it’s against the law for Winnipeg to do me any favours. Meanwhile, at the Mahal, we’re staring down the barrel of the most important four point game we’ve played since last week against Anaheim. Getting into the playoffs was step one, but being able to beat these perennial playoffers is the next obstacle in our way of a Cup parade down Jasper Ave. With exam season right around the corner, it’s only fitting that Edmonton’s two biggest tests of the year come at the heels of our next two games. You’re goddamn welcome for the free material, Gene.

Prediction

I want it to be high scoring but I think we all know maybe one team will score four at the most tonight. This is your prototypical Pacific Division tilt. But Friggin Todd actually has a friggin decent record against his former team. Edmonton’s en fuego. Saint Joseph is no fuego. Oilers win 4-2. The Big Rig, assisted by Leon and Connor. Letestu on the power play, also assisted by Leon and Connor. Leon, from Connor. And Connor, from Leon. Oh, and Mike Haley’s back! Kassian pummels him.

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