The Moment We’ve Waited 11 Years For…: Kings @ Oilers

March 28, 2017. History has the potential to be made. Grab your friends, grab your cold ones, and watch as the Edmonton Oilers attempt to do something that no professional hockey team has done in Edmonton since the Klein era: make the playoffs.


I prayed to Saint Albert for the health of Matty’s foot and it looks like he’s answered those prayers. Captain Vegas should be goods to go later this week while the swelling goes down. Meanwhile, Gryba fills his spot. He turns like a cargo ship but the Kings are slower than rush hour traffic on Gateway, so it’s not a terrible predicament. Iceman back in the pipes on basically like six days rest looking to take LA on a non-stop trip back to Shutter Island.

Tonight’s Opponent

The Los Angeles Kings. Anyways. The last time we clinched a playoff spot was April 13, 2006: a 2-1 win over Anaheim. It sounds cliche but I vividly remember it like it was yesterday. Tied 1-1 late in the third, needing a win to clinch. With a little over a minute left, Hemmer flew down the right wing and fired a softy through the legs of Giguere.

Why We Deserve To Make The Playoffs

You see that picture above? I was at the Concrete Jungle on that particular evening, and I swear to you that I never thought I’d be talking about that goal 4,002 days later on March 28, 2017. On that same day, the Thrashers beat the Capitals 5-3, with Andy Sutton leading the Thrashers in ice time. Mike Dunham got the win. On that same day, Connor McDavid was a 9-year-old kid playing spring road hockey somewhere in Newmarket, Ontario. Yup. Deprived doesn’t even begin to describe the mountain of triceratops shit we’ve been dragged through.

Which King Can Help Us Make The Playoffs

Brayden McNabb is impeccably awful. The Duke of Davidson, Saskatchewan has two more points than Matt Greene this season, in about twice as many games. (Sticking with the theme of the blog, Matt Greene is one of the only active Oilers from the 2006 roster and I’ll be honest with you, I cannot believe he’s played this long. Good for Matt.)

Kings fans have apparently had it with Brayden as well:

Drew Doughty, rightfully so, received all the attention eight days ago after being Connored on national television. But lost in that epic degree of undressing was the mindlessly god awful shit job of a performance Brayden McNabb left all over the ice. Nothing foreshadows a future Spengler Cup roster spot like being badly outplayed by Paul LaDue in a 60 minute game of professional hockey. Get McNabb out there when Daddy turns the neutral zone jets on and watch as both the McNabb family and Brayden’s agent set the record for the fastest phone call ever made to the Deutsche Eishockey Liga.

The Roundup

The other big news of the day was the Oil signing the pride of Stanton Island, Joey Gambardella, to an ELC. The Pistol knows a thing or six about signing undrafted college recruits to ELCs. Joey Hockey put up 52 in 41 with UMass Lowell this year. He’s small (5’10”) but heavy, like Auston, so he should fit in well with the perennial playoff contending Oilers. Sup, Joe.


Put that city of champions sign back in front of Calgary’s face and crank “What a Feeling” by Irene Cara on full heat. The Edmonton Oilers make the playoffs with a 5-1 win over Los Angeles. Who cares who gets them all, we’re a playoff team. Connor with three.

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