Three’s A Fluke, Four’s A Streak: Kings @ Oilers

Oh, Yak:

Imagine if he was valued higher than a conditional third just four years after being drafted? I could use this gif all the time, especially when we play LA. It’s incredible. He literally soars by his entire team without a care in the goddamn world. What a dude, my boy Nail. In order for the Oilers to get that second round pick for him, he’d have to both play and score in all of St. Louis’s remaining games, plus one.



The Tour de Rog concludes tonight against a very important division rival. The Oil are staring down the barrel of their third 4+ game winning streak of the season (before this year, we had two in the last three). Standing in our way is the team we need to continue to suck in order for us to clinch our first playoff spot since 2006.


First day of spring and the Iceman is looking to stand alone in second for wins by an Oilers goalie in a single season. He’s four behind Grant Fuhr for the most wins in a single season by an Oilers goalie. He’s also tied with Holtby and Dubnyk for second in league wins this year.

Matty Ice draws in for Tony Slep. Was hoping it’d be JJ in for Drake because that fourth line has the potential to be a huge size mismatch against LA’s tonight. Looks like Gryba in for Matty Vegas as well.

Tonight’s Opponent

The Angles Kings. Team that used to quite literally bully the Oilers out of the building:

I’ll never forget that Jordan Nolan haymaker from Pluto. That’s the day I thought we’d never be good again. Then 5-14-6-1.

Now karma’s a huge bitch. Suck it, LA.

Why They Stink

These guys are hockey’s New York Giants. Just sneak their way into the playoffs every year and win the whole damn think. Well not this year, idiots. Calgary put on the burners and now LA’s best hope is catching one of St. Louis or Teeps’ Preds for the final wild card spot. At least they traded for Ben Bishop.

Why Their Fans Stink

Fun fact: Bailey borrowed the “Hockey for Dummies” book from Kings fans who started watching hockey in 2011.

Which King Stinks

God, look at this dummy. Kyle Clifford is all the bad and he’s still playing 70+ games for the Kings every year. Here he is with teammate Tyler Toffoli looking a lot like a gif we sometimes use:

Why They Might Not Stink

The Oilers DJ stinks bad. Only barn in the league that celebrates dropping three in eight minutes by blasting Skrillex. Hire Hank.

The Roundup

We’re so, soon close to clinching a playoff spot. We’re 10 points up on these idiots with 11 to go. You do the math: 12 up with 10 remaining would be virtually impossible to make up. I’m heading to the Rog to make sure that happens tonight. The more LA loses, the sooner we get that little x- beside our names. But also, on the other side of that double-edge sword, Calgary beat these bums at the Saddledump last night. That means this:

That means the 403 moved one spot up on us, again, but sweet Lord baby McJesus that is a race. Six points separate first from fourth in the PAC. If by some miracle Kari Lehtonen and/or Antti Niemi make a damn save tonight, the fellas could be four points back of Saint Joseph for first. Just need to take care of our own business tonight and see where the dominos begin to fall.


It’s virtually impossible to put 7 by the Kings, but Calgary dropped 5 last night, and I’m not letting them outscore us. I’m saying 5-1 Oilers. Iceman gets Dub number 3-7, Crosby’s three last night caught Connor so Daddy gets three this evening. Even Kass gets one and he lets the crazy eyes loose as a bonus. And you better believe I’ll be looking for Superfan Magoo:

PS – Matt Tkachuk out there doing Matt Tkachuk things last night:

Jesus Christ. Just a rookie out there throwing vicious bows into the jibs of one of the league’s most prolific defensemen. Ben Bishop had his arm up faster than Daddy burned by Xavier Oulette and no penalty was called on the play. He’d for sure try something once the Oil get up a baker’s dozen on these bums in the first round. Toughest guy in the league.

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