Best of Five: Oilers @ Sharks

New series begins tonight thanks to Zack Kassian the Oil literally dominating all areas of the game Friday night. The series now shifts to the Bay Area all tied at one a piece and has transformed into a best of five. First to three more wins will win the series. Klefbom’s healthy, the Iceman’s comething, and it’s a sunny long weekend Sunday. Canada went 4-1 in game twos. Suck it, Calgary. Let’s go.

Lineup

Tonight’s Opponent

Saint Joseph. Who’s your daddy?

Why We Stole The Momentum

My god do we ever have the momentum heading into the Tank. San Jose had no answer for the boys on Friday. And Connor hasn’t flipped the switch yet. That has to be horrifying if you’re Petey DeBoer’s Saint Joseph Sharks. They’ve “contained” Connor (point-per-game in the playoffs, inhumanly fast mutant) and are still one home loss away from sending home ice back to the Rog Mahal.

And have you seen those two gifs? Zack’s single-handedly taken control of this series. These are the eyes of a menacing demon ready pile-drive eight or nine unsuspecting Sharks into the glass.

Live look at Zack “the Maniac” Kassian in the dressing room during intermissions:

Look at those soulless poppy seeds. I don’t even want to imagine the barbaric schemes that get tossed around in that noggin’ in-between about a dozen O’Doul’s and two packs of Player’s. I’d be literally sitting in shit if I was the Sharks bench. The Kass is loose. God help those teal-wearing imbeciles if the Big Rig and the Big Daddy get going as well.

The Roundup

Calgary STINKS!

Prediction

Ready to steal home ice back, Edmonton? Let’s do this shit. 4-1 Oil. This is the McGame we’ve been waiting for. Connor opens the floodgates and gets three points. Draisaitl finally gets on the scoresheet. I’m feeling a Letestu one timer tonight. Big Daddy Looch gets one as well, book it. Matty Vegas, first playoff point. And of course we humiliate every dressed Shark and Aaron Dell in front of their god awful crowd. Just wait ’til these mouth breathers start doing their little Shark chops while the team skates to an 0-9 power play.

PS – What’re the odds Magoo flew down to San Jose for this one? Actually that’s a stupid question, of course he’s there. What’re the odds he drove that orange SUV all 2,500 kms to the SAP Center’s parking lot?

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