The Very Best Zack Kassian Moments of the Year

5. Kass scores a huge goal against the Ducks, cellys all the way down the I-5.

Once in a while, we – as humans – are destined to experience an out of body experience. It’s magical. It’s fantastic. One of the true phenomenas of life itself. That’s what happened to Zack on this particular play. The former checker-turned-McDangler toe-dragged Sami Vatanen to Disneyland, buried, then cellied to the moon and back before being suffocated by his boys at the bench:

Looking like Jon Snow poking his heroic head out of a dog pile:

4. Zack’s goal gets disallowed for the 19th time this year and his face just damn well knows it

The coaches challenge was designed to improve the correctness and protect the integrity of the game. FAKE NEWS. The coaches c challenge was designed to prevent Zack Kassian from being a perpetual 20 goal scorer. Nobody’s been backstabbed by the red flag rule more than Zack. And he hasn’t complained. Not once. He’s just gone out there and done his business like a good Canadian kid with his chin up despite having nearly double digit goals disallowed – all because someone like Tony Slepyshev was half of a fraction offside on a zone entry a full 15 minutes before the ensuing goal actually went in. Good for him for always staying composed so that we can vent.

3. Kassian scores a goal that actually counts and he celebrates by propelling his stick to the Monstars at Moron Mountain

As if the Avs hadn’t suffered enough this year, Zack humiliated them with a Bautista-caliber stick flip in front of their home crowd. RIP Colorado.

2. Zack Kassian single-handedly defeats the San Jose Sharks

‘Nuff said. No, wait:

NOW ‘Nuff said.

1. Kassian breaks the record for fastest autoshed in professional hockey history

Coming to the rescue of his fellow bash brother, Matty Ice, Zack Kassian begins by extincting Oliver-Ekman Larsson from this planet while simultaneously shedding his miss before turning around and one-punching Anthony Duclair to Tuscon. This magnificent sequence of excellence brought us this Hall of Fame gem – the perfect avatar for Zack Kassian’s career:

And if you look closely, you still can’t see a soul anywhere inside those demonic eyes. Kassian forever.



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