Morning After Blog: Lots Of Hockey Left

Well. At least we’re back amiright?! Could it have gone better. But we kept it close (thanks to and only to the Iceman, praise Lord Cam).

More than half the team looked nervous, or lost, and Todd looked like a peewee rec coach next to DeBoer. Christ. Friggin Todd. San Jose is good, but not “hold your team to like 7 shots in 2.5 periods of hockey” good. The best news I can possibly give you is that we played one of the worst hockey games I’ve seen us play in about 2 months and lost in overtime. Look out on Friday.

1st Period

And with the first playoff goal since Pisani in the third period of game seven in 2006, Oscar Klefbom:

Annnnnnnd the building nearly exploded. All 18,000+ the course people lost their goddamn marbles. It was chaotic. Pure chaos in its most natural form. Then it was Big Daddy’s turn:

And that’s why we paid him all the bucks. The team couldn’t have looked more ready for the playoffs.

2-0 boysssssss

2nd Period

And then we fell apart. The second period began with a Saint Joseph PP. Eric Gryba gor back to his man nearly as fast as rush hour traffic on the Yellowhead, so Joel Ward got the Sharks on the board with an uncontested tap in.

The boys had just a terrible rest of the period. We had two power plays and registered 1 shot. If it wasn’t for Cam, we’d have been playing for pride by now.

2-1 Oil

3rd Period

Well Todd rolled out 2, 4, 36 and 55 on a 4-on-4 situation, and it went exactly like you’d expect it to:

That’s Kris Russell getting Connor’d by Hertl. That’s Drake Caggiula completely losing his man, the ever-swift and elegantly-footed Paul Martin. Paul is about 106 years old, but looked like Erik Karlsson flying by the oblivious Caggiula.



RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU PICKED MELKER KARLSSON LOL NO YOU DIDN’T OKAY THAT’S ALL. Friggin’ Todd decided to roll the 3rd pair out with a line that I forgot was even dressed. Cue the dagger:

Sounded like the wind was funnelled out of the entire Mahal. Could hear a pin drop. That sucked a lot of ass.

3-2 Sharks, final

Sharks lead the series 1-0.


Final Thoughts

Lots of hockey left. This is why we seven game series.

They didn’t come out to “Pump It”…huge miss. They did come out to “Enter Sandman” for warmies though. Can’t imagine how much they had to bribe the DJ to play hard rock instead of some absurd remix that torches our ears. Luckily the Godfather knows a thing or two about bribes.

And in this week’s edition of, “People Almost Dying via Connor”:

Justin Braun. It’s been a few weeks, I’ve missed your terribleness.

Surprised Logan Couture could fit those horse jibs inside that bantam birdcage.

Since when did we stop clapping between “Let’s Go Oilers!” chants? That’s sweatpants Edmonton right there. Stop being so goddamn lazy.

The washroom lines were what nightmares are made of. They spent hundreds of millions on this supersized entertainment mecca and forgot to build adequately sized piss facilities. Whoops! Classic Godfather.

The anthem was… wow. It was wow:

Never seen anything like it before and it was surreal to be part of. Phenomenal. Hope Vancouver’s idiot anthem singer got emotional PTSD thinking about all the times he’s let the ‘Nucks crowd sing the anthem on a random Tuesday against Arizona. You big dumb idiot.

We were loud. So, soooooo loud. Suck it, Winnipeg.

Kassian hit everybody. Pretty sure he hit Joe Thornton and he wasn’t even dressed.

Drake Caggiula. Not a great game. And I need to check the scoresheet to see if Iiro the Hero played. Meanwhile, Tony Sleps and JJ are sitting in the press box. What’re the odds Friggin Todd plays Drake 15 mins again in game 2? 100%? Ugh. Just bring Jesse back up.

The only thing worse than the carbon tax was last night’s officiating.

Actually, wait. Also people who try to start the wave. Fuck those people to the moon and back. There was this one particular first ballot imbecile last night. It’s 2-2 in the third period of the biggest game we’ve played since the Todd Harvey era and we’ve had like maybe 3 shots on god in 30 consecutive minutes, and some meat driller in the 56th row is trying to start the wave because he had three beers and wanted to be a hero. You suck, guy. You’re the worst kind of people.

Actually… wait again. Fuck. People who fake cheer that they won the 50/50. The Logan Coutures of hockey fans. That should be punishable by stoning. Every single one of those douche sniffers thinks they’re the funniest, most original people in the building, but the people in your immediate area want to punch you in your unoriginal mouth. You make me hate things that I love, like gambling.

Hottest Tweet of the Night

We’re getting compared to Kings fans a lot lately. All of Cali hates them because they’re good. What’s that tell us?

Also, the refs had nothing to do with San Jose outshooting us by a billion and ultimately winning the game, but it would have been nice to have a third period power play on at least one of the breakaways where Connor received at least 13 hooks. Could have maybe picked up some momentum. I don’t know. I’m not sure how to playoffs. It’s been a while.

Those chants were so much fun though. For real. Nostalgia on steroids. We booed the refs to Lethbridge and back when they came out for OT. That’s the Edmonton I know and love and remember.

If the game were a song…

“One Dance” – Drake

“OT, OT, there’s never much love when we go OT…”

Melker Karlsson. My God.

1st Star

2nd Star

3rd Star

BIG DADDY LOOCH!!!!! Yes. Big Daddy likessssss. Give me that Looch plus an adequate game from everybody else and we won’t have a problem winning this in 6.


Get ’em on Friday, boys.

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