The ‘One Sleep And Two Naps’ After Blog: We Want Anaheim

 

Pandemonium. Last night exceeded any expectations I managed to muster up about what the playoffs would ultimately be like. Edmonton was on fire last night. I don’t think the car horns ever stopped. Like I can still hear them perpetually goin’ in my head. Oh. and I’m booking my flights the second the literal moment that the schedule is released. I’m going to Anaheim for game one, Edmonton. Let’s fucking do this.

Oh, also, I’m just going on a limb and saying this is the most hunger blog in ENS history. I know that’s saying a lot, especially for anybody who’s met Hank, but at one point I projectiled in such a manner that could only be rivalled by Lou taking out that squirrel in Hot Tub Time Machine. I’ve had TWO naps. I missed the entire Sens game because comatose. I spent 11 hours at Mercer. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that last night was a top 15 or 20 night in my entire life (1. Connor McLotteryDay, 2. Being born). Whole staff got in one last night. It probably shed two or three years off my entire life, and it practically incinerated my wallet, but it was all so worth it. Actually, I’d be horrified to look at my bank account this a/p.m. but Media Strike unloads a Brinks truck of cents in there like every couple of months so we good. Suck it, Logan Couture. The Edmonton Oilers are going to the Elite Eight.

1st Period

I thought the Sharks would come out banging in the first. Season on the line. Home crowd. None of that mattered. The Oil looked lie the hungrier team in period one and that surprised the hell out of me in every good way possible. And the Iceman comethed.

0-0

2nd Period

While the ice was still wet, the guy we got for Taylor Hall fed Leon on a picture-perfect dish. Leon took it away from there:

Marty Five Hole up to his old habits! For the fifth time in the series, the fellas struck first. About one minute after that, it was Tony Time:

OFFICER ANTON!!!

God I love him. He’s like a poor-ENS’s Pool Party. Have a bev for Slepyshev! (we did, we had multiple bevs for Slepyshev).

2-0 Oilers OH HERE WE ACTUALLY GO!!!!

3rd Period

So I was like five minutes away from knocking that very bold prediction out of the SAP Center, but because we don’t stress enough, San Jose buried so we could hold on to every inch of fat on our butts as the final minutes ticked down. And we did. I legit do not think I took a breath.

And then it happened.

And it was as beautiful as I ever could have imagined.

3(?)-1 Oilers, final…

WE’RE GOING TO THE SECOND ROUND, QUICK, IGNITE A ROGERS PLACE DANCE PARTY LED BY MAGOO!

Final Thoughts

Hahaha man, those Rogers Place dance parties are actually the GOAT.

The next round is actually going to be so orange my god.

Live look at Edmonton drivers today:

How in the world Mercers is still standing today?

Honestly had no idea the Oilers scored three goals until about 9:15 this morning. I thought it was a mistake. I was in another dimension as those final seconds ticked down that literally anything could have gone by me.

God I love this town:

What kind of bonafide psychopaths sell out a viewing party?? Edmonton is MENTAL. Greatest fans in the world and I don’t care who argues it. Live look at Calgary’s viewing party last night:

Game one’s like three or four days away but that hasn’t prevented the Ducks from entering Expert Troll Mode:

When Draisaitl’s stick snapped I thought, yep, Sharks in 7. That NEVER happens. Felt for a moment like the Hockey God’s were finally paying us back for the Stefan night.

Wonder how lit the Red Mile was last night?

Boys are 4-1 in their last five playoff series.

Some fucking clown dumped their full box of popcorn on the Oil’s bench after the game:

SOMEBODY GET THAT GUY A WHAAAAAMBULANCE!!! Taking the literal definition of extremely butthurt to the next level. Was probably this guy:

I’m actually so looking forward to hating Perry and Getzlaf and Kesler and the shit-eater Bieksa for two weeks like ugh let’s go.

Hottest Tweet of the Night

Not from last night but this definitely deserves all the attention:

Ol’ Ramina is about to take “Oilers forever” to a very literal meaning amiright boys?

If the game were a song…

California Love” – 2pac. Blast it.

….and, come on. Like I wouldn’t fire up some Logan Alexis Singers after a series clincher. THEY MADE A MUSIC VIDEO!!!!!!!!!

1st Star of the Night

Fuck it. It was Tony Time yesterday. It was Tony Time this morning. I’d be more than okay with it always being Tony Time. TONY FOREVER.

1st Star of the Series

Close. I loved the Iceman’s game all series long, but this was the round of the Kass. One more time, because suck it, Logan:

 


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