The Payback’s Tonight: Ducks @ Oilers

I think we all needed a few days off to relax. Game three was way more than any of my emotions could have possibly handled. From the national anthems, to the early 3-oh hole, to tying in up on one of the biggest McBoners of the year, to giving the lead back legit seconds later, to the offside that was actually offside but wasn’t called offside, to ultimately taking it from the rear. That was a series of games within one game and to be honest I needed to chain-hack multiple darts just to calm the emotions down.

But now we’re back.

Fresh off their highly publicized vacation to Kelowna, the Ducks have retuned to the Thunderdome to take on the Orange Crush and the Oil. Orangesanity will be on full display once again  at the Rog Mahal this evening, where I fully expect both Brett Kissel’s mic to properly function, and the Oil to promptly wipe the streets of 104th with the Ducks organization. Straight Outta Canada, boys. Let’s go.


The good news is that Jordan Eberle literally probably can’t get worse. So if he’s played pissfully for this many games and the fellas are still up 2-1 in the series, and 6-3 overall in the playoffs, that’s one helluva good sign. That means we are finding ways to win without a $6 million winger playing like crusted giraffe shit.

Eberle might be the obvious scapegoat but he’s not the only one who’s failed to show up. I’d really appreciate Daryl Nurse doing something productive starting hopefully tonight. Hometown bias aside but I’ve honestly been more than alright with Matty Vegas’s level of play against the Ducks. We just need his partner to help him out in at least some capacity because the third pair is starting to give me all of the ulcers. Drake Caggiula hasn’t done anything memorable since leaving the NCAA so it’s nice to finally get him off PP2. Big Pou replaces him on the second unit. Would love to see Tony Slep on there, as well as in Eberle’s spot on line deuce, but it’s a start. Can’t get too greedy right now I guess. Still, the world could use more Tony Time.

Rant over.


It’s a well-known fact that the Iceman programmably follows up a silent stinker with a Vezina-caliber performance. I’d hammer the under tonight. Iceman’s comething.

Tonight’s Opponent

Already hate them.


What They’re Whining About

I mean… I’m baffled by this comment. I don’t even think I’m mad, I’m just at an absolute loss of words. Don’t poke the bear, Randy. You won’t like the bear when he’s angry:

Friggin’ Todd was quick to fire back.

BUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNN!!! Remember that Sharks series? Poor Petey DeBoer was just trying to do a post-game interview after blowing a two goal lead and losing in over time, in the City of Dance Parties. What happened next was probably the most emasculating, humiliating and degrading experience any coach should have to endure during his time in the National Hockey League. We booed him so loud from 104th that you couldn’t hear a damn thing he was trying to say. Guy took it like an absolute champ, and I have a lot of respect for that.

Meanwhile, fucking Randy over here is throwing punches from the pressroom like he’s in goddamn high school or some damn shit. Keeler’s wearing McDavid like a blanket and I’m pretty sure Getzlaf hasn’t been called for any of the cheap shit he’s tried to pull all series long. Have we complained? Has Friggin’ Todd taken the mic and chastised the NHL for allowing their best player to be hooked, tripped, held, and cross-checked for three straight games? Nope. Like typical Edmontonians, we’ve put on our hardhats and gone to work. But this is the Anaheim way. This is what they do. They try to intimidate with their words and their slew foots and their behind the play cheap shots because that’s the culture their leaders have established throughout their careers. Our leader just goes out there and drops a hundo on the whole league as a 20-year-old. You think he’s going to fall into their little petty games? Fuck that. Talk to me after two when Connor’s got a goal and two apples on that lucky imbecile Johnny Gibson, all because Randy wanted to act like that fake tough guys he dresses on a nightly basis. Then watch as Chris Getzlaf’s brother runs around taking shots at bonafide tough guys like Rej Sekera and Kris Russell and Drake Caggiula, just to send some sort of message that he thinks will bug our boys. You absolute idiots. Suck it, Randy. Give me your tears!


The Roundup

If I was asked to describe Anaheim’s game three watch party in one word:

It’d be CHAOS!!!!!!!! Holy mackerel, Anaheim, save some lit for the rest of us!!!! I mean… dare I say it, that bar almost looked near capacity!!

In all honesty I think more people attended Ottawa’s ‘Save Spezza’ rally.

But that doesn’t matter. Anaheim could have like maybe six fans show up drunk to Trader Sam’s Enchanted Tiki Bar at Disneyland and literally none of that matters if the series goes back to Anaheim all squared up. I like to chirp their fans for the incompetent, oblivious mouth-breathers that they are but the only thing that really matters is the final score at the end of the night. Not who’s still dancing at 1 a.m. at a pop-up night club inside the arena. The Oil played one of their worst games of the playoffs on Sunday and still put three by Gibson. And we all know how Connor’s Army followed up that 7-0 shellacking last round. Beat their asses tonight, boys.


As mentioned, if you’ve watched the Iceman play this year you damn well know what’s comething our way tonight. I’m going 4-1 Oilers. Randy’s officially pissed off Connor which doesn’t bode well for the city of Anaheim and all of its neighbouring communities. I just wish Bieksa was alive to be part of this. I’m ready for this. I guarantee Magoo’s ready for this. Now let’s take this series back. Here we go.


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