Did The Oilers New Adidas Jersey Leak?

So last night while you were all in one at the Pint, the extremely accurate and very reliable Icethetics published this piece based on a tip from an anonymous source, the content of which contained photos of what could potentially be the new Oilers jersey. At first glance, it does in fact look like it could very well be the what we are wearing next season. Also at first glance, you can see through those blurry images that those new sweaters are in fact all of the dump. Literal trash. Just some pure, unsolicited, hippopotamus vomit. When I pictured Daddy carrying the Cup around the Rog Mahal I certainly did not picture him doing it while wearing anything even remotely resembling whatever that thing is. You idiots.

But hold on!! We have some good news:

That, of course, was the Oilers second official tease of our new sweaters, sent out on Twitter just two days ago. We know two things based on juxtaposing the two pictures: First, the numbers and the ‘C’ on that nightmare of a leaked photo above are blue with a white trace, whereas in the Oilers official teaser we see that they are white with a blue trace. Now some teams, in particular imbecilic ones from the southern portion of our province, have been known to wear jerseys with a mixed-and-matched font colour template, case and point:

So that’s not exactly a deal breaker, just something semi-abnormal for our franchise to randomly adopt at this stage of the game. And naturally don’t be like Calgary.

Second — and this one’s fairly obvious — the collar in the image teased by the Oilers Twitter account is clearly blue, whereas the collar in that abomination of a sweater up top is painfully white, and looks even more ridiculously hideous when placed beside the thinner white piping surrounding the shoulders. Now, as we know, some of the World Cup jerseys did have collars that only went half way around, such as:

And:

And even:

So Adidas has been known to mess around with the collar a bit. However, the collar in our trainwreck of an alleged leak appears to wrap all the way around, which would ultimately contradict the picture in our official teaser, and which is both refreshingly convincing and enough for me to certify that those pieces of unmitigated god awful dog shit are in fact fake news. We’re safe, Oilers fans*!

Christ. It takes a truly sick human being to Photoshop something as horrible as those unis above and call them a “leak” so whoever sent that to Icethetics is either a horrible artist or a goddamn Flames fan trying to mess with our heads. What a dick.

In any case, we’re three days away from the big reveal. Here’s to hoping that we not only survived this near-catastrophe, but also come out looking as sharp or possibly even sharper than last year. I cannot wait to see how we screw this up.

 

*I hope, God I hope I hope I hope.


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