Uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This was supposed to be a happy day of celebrating Connor’s quite literal abolishment of the NHL Awards last night, but of course, here come the Oilers. So instead of talking about Daddy’s most recent conquest, or his beautiful mug all over Chel18, or Johnny Gaudreau fulfilling my only wish and winning the Lady Byng, I’m talking about Pistol Petey mortifyingly undervaluing yet another asset on this team. Instead of bathing in my champagne of Oilers glory that I had so blissfully prepared to smother myself in this morning, I’m forced to talk about trading a career 0.79 PPG player and FIVE time 20 goal scorer for this guy:

So… Jordan Eberle has been dealt to the New York Islanders in exchange for Ryan Strome. Just Ryan Strome. Nothing else. We should be used to that by now, because the Pistol, but yet it still surprises me every time he significantly undervalues his players. I get that Jordan Eberle’s playoffs were all kinds of dreadful, but come on. That is not a good trade right there, at all. But of course, it wouldn’t be an offseason with the Pistol without him unsolicitedly hitting my soul in the crotch with a goddamn frozen sledgehammer. Classic Chiarelli. The move frees up $3.5M in cap space, which now in all likelihood will be used to sign Kris Russell to an absolutely inexplicable 4×4 contract, just to make things even fucking worse.

I legit cannot fathom how we’ve now made two trades in two years with the New York Islander, both of which involved extremely valuable commodities, and we still don’t have Travis Hamonic or Calvin de Haan to show for it. The Islanders now have Eberle, Barzala and Beauvillier, and ALL we have is career 0.49 PPG Ryan Strome… who, at 23 years old and four NHL seasons, has never scored 20 goals and had six more points than a 20-year-old Beauvillier last season.

Maybe we should just stop dealing with the Islanders… I don’t know? It’s bad enough they just fisted Vegas to orbit last night, but to perpetually clock the Oilers in the cahoonas as well and always get away with it… yikes. This would be like Kavis Reed always walking up to that schoolyard bully, and never once punching him back in the mouth. When the best trade in recent memory is dealing Mike York for Mike Peca I think it’s time to cut ties with a club that clearly has it out for us. Ugh.

 

PS – We’re ACTUALLY going to resign Kris Russell now, aren’t we? Holy mother of shit.