All Aboard The Yamamoto Train: Oilers Take Kailer Yamamoto 22nd Overall

The GODDAMN Edmonton Oilers, baby!!!!!!!! That’s what I’m talking about, Petey & Co!!!

And boy did he reload for the boys! WHAT A DAY! Honestly, I’m exhausted. The roller coaster of emotions this team puts me through, man. And when it’s all said and done, the Edmonton Oilers have become the first team to catch Kailer Yamamoto. The dude can flat out RIP. Buddy absolutely shredded the Dub this year, potting 42 nice ones and 99 points in 65 games. Those 99 points were the most out of any draft eligible player this year, and they came on one of the worst teams in the WHL. Wanna see something cool?

That’s some hellishly nasty skill. Goes toe-to-toe with one of the top 2 prospects in this year’s draft from an offensive comparison and crushes him. And he’s one of those rare mutants with a turbo button, much like our Lord Connor. Imagine those two on a line together? Holy god. The only knock? He’s floating around 5’7″ and a buck-50.

Question: Am I concerned?

Better Question: Wanna puke?

Yama smell ya absolutely never, #6. So no, I’m not concerned at all about his size. And neither should you. Kid’s got all the speed, all the skill, all the moves. I mean, Christ. Look at this dude. Top of your screen below. Watch him hit the jets and roast this Kelowna defenseman into Williams Lake:

Naaaaa night, idiot. Live look at Yama and Daddy playing together against Juuso Valimaki in 3-4 years:


And this is what Future Considerations had to say about our new boy:

A pint-sized, yet dynamic, playmaker… small, speedy forward with excellent hockey sense and quick hands…has a strong work ethic that keeps him going…great overall quickness, first-step jump to create separation and an ability to alter speeds to create gaps…sneaky and stealth-like in finding prime scoring ice…very creative with the puck and shows off creative hands…uses his size to squeak through the tightest of holes…is a force in possession as he likes the puck on his stick, and is dangerous as a set-up man or shooter in the offensive zone…poised, clutch and aware…feisty on the forecheck, not physically, but uses his speed to force opponents into rushed plays while clogging up passing lanes with an active stick…one of those rare wingers who has the ability to affect the flow of a game like a center…a very special talent, high octane and cerebral.

What I tell ya? Pint-sized; I love that. Very special talent; I love that even more. There’s a new hockey player for ants in the province, little Johnny, and he goes by Kailer Yama-fucking-moto. Life’s so damn good again. Back to winning the Cup. LET’S GO!!!!


PS – Yes:

I’m looking you square in the eyes and telling you I forgive the Pistol for the last 48 hours. It could be the Friday sauce talking, but that’s how I feel. This kid’s going to be gooooooood.