Connor McDavid. Eight Years. $100 Million

 

November 2, 2000. Oilers sign goaltender Tommy Salo to the then-richest contract in franchise history: a three-year deal worth a total of $10.4 million. Today, 16 years and eight months later — and 12 days after Kris Russell signed a four-year deal worth a total of $16 million — Connor McDavid has signed a franchise record-obliterating eight-year, $100 million deal… An AAV of $12.5 million… Which is $2.1 million per year more than the total contract that Tommy Salo was given back in 2000. Holy Toledo Walleye, that’s a contract!! Prior to this turbo-galactic mega deal, the richest contract(s) handed out in franchise history belonged to both Taylor Hall and Milan Lucic, both of whom earned seven-year deals worth $42 million. To put that into perspective, Connor McDavid will earn over $42 million by the end of his fourth year, halfway through his generational contract. Lol.

Connor took less money than what was originally reported because that’s the type of dude that he is. And I know what some out-of-town imbeciles are thinking, “$750K isn’t taking a pay cut, he didn’t do anything “honourable” he’s not a team guy stop trying to spin it blah blah blah blah” pipe the breathing down, you mouths. That $750K saves the team $6 million over the course of his eight years. He didn’t have to do that. He could have signed for $15 million today and I’d still say that’s a steal. THIS!!!!!:

We have the best player in the world who is basically responsible for over half of our fucking goals for nine more years hahaha what a damn time, skatin’ on your whole team. Jesus Christ I mean, seriously, think about that. It’s been +27 in this city for about nine straight days, and now we’re being told we get to watch Connor McDavid humiliate defensemen for the next nine years of our lives. There are worse things, and I’ll tell ya that for free. Contrats on all your players, Calgary. The idiot Flames could trade for the corpse of Maurice Richard at this point and I wouldn’t give a damn. We’re the greatest. We have the greatest. And I can’t wait to torch teams for the next nine years. Suck it, world. Suck our butts!!!!!

PS – I’ve purposely refrained from drinking water all day knowing I’d have enough tears to drink falling out of the sky like it’s a goddamn tsunami. Let’s CHUG!!:

(Educated and Functional Human Note): Connor McDavid’s $12.5M AAV would be the 71st most in the NBA, the 58th highest in the NFL, and the 98th highest in the MLB. There are literally 227 athletes in North America alone who have asked for more than that, you fucking fart.

Actually just a little bit smaller percentage than what Sid took after his ELC, and for a casual three more years so good one, Randy.

And of course, it wouldn’t be a massive contract without someone getting all high and mighty on us:

The hero title belongs to Rodger today.

Interesting to note that Connor McDavid became the first puck hog in NHL history to lead the league in assists with 70.

BEER LEAGUE CHISLE (sic, idiot) POINTS!!!!!!!!!!! Holy fucking actual mackerel. FWIW, Connor lead the league in primary 5v5 points with 50, seven more than the next closest person. He also led the league in 5v5 first assists, with 29. So then:

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