Jussi Jokinen. One-Year. $1.1 Million


You DOG Petey!!!! I am usually the very first to criticize the Pistol when he does something stupid and Oilerzy. But you all know I’m also the first in line to praise the man or literally anything the team does when we really hammer home a deal. This is one of those times. Jussi Jokinen and 1×1.1 is a goddamn steal. The ultimate no risk, high reward contract. We’re talking about a guy who’s a career 0.61 PPG in 891 games of NHL experience. Most importantly, he gives the team such much needed veteran winger depth. Will he score 60 this year like he did in 15-16? Doubtful, but I also expect he’ll produce a bit more than his 28 points from last season. Also, he said this, which makes it a win in my books:

“It’s really exciting,” said Jokinen. “I think with how the Oilers played last season, it opened a lot of eyes across the League. They had a great year and I’m really honoured to be a part of the Oilers now. I feel the team is going in the right direction and I think in the next few years, every year now the Oilers have a really good chance to compete for a Stanley Cup so that’s my goal to try to help the Oilers win a Stanley Cup.”

You’re damn rights, Jussi. Welcome the hell aboard.

Jussi is known for his offense, but by far the most underrated part of his game is likely his ability to play the tough minutes, as my boy Woodguy mentioned up top. He also kills penalties, plays power play. And even better? He is going to mentor my best friend and president of the smiles club, Jesse Puljujarvi:

Jokinen spoke with Oilers President of Hockey Operations and General Manager Peter Chiarelli before signing about helping Puljujarvi along.

“I’m there any time he needs something,” said Jokinen. “I think he’ll be a great player for the Oilers for a long time. He’s a young guy and it’s not easy to come into the League but I’ll do everything I can to help him grow as a player and person.”

YES Jussi, YES!!! Again, we got this guy for 1.1M!

Happy goddamn Friday, indeed. So, as for the now-potential opening night roster:


I like Jokinen on the 2nd line in a “tough” minutes role with Nuge and Looch, but that’s totally interchangeable, especially after the way Slepy turned it on last season. Tony Time could easily play on the 2nd line with Looch and Nuge as well, and we could slide down Jokinen to a veteran role on the younger 3rd line. There’s also the possibility that my spirit animal and one-time pizza demolisher Jesse Puljujarvi could start the year in Bakersvegas. That means Kass/Caggulia could slide up to play 3rd line minutes, and Pakman/Khaira could jump into a 4th line role. Either way, I’m excited about this group of forwards, and more than okay with going into the season with any number of possibly line combinations, though I’m very biased and want to see the Pool Party in our opening day lineup. This guy fucks.


PS – Still doing many boners:

LOOK HOW UPSET HE IS, TORONTO!! HE’S SO MAD, HATES EDMONTON!!!!!!!!!!!! *looks at Steve Simmons and Michael Farber and Jeff O’Neil, farts loudly*

PSS – Johnny rode a horse today:

…and wore fucking Yeezys while doing it:

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