Mystery Injury #1: Tony Slepyshev Bangs Up Ankle While Training, Is It Jesse Time?

Goes without saying but this is the ultimate win-lose for ENS. Obviously #TonyTime was a vital part of last year, including the playoffs. When we launch the ENS Hall of Fame, Tony will surely be a first balloter when his career’s finished here. It was about to be a big year for Tony and missing the entire preseason is a very big bummer for fans of Tony Time. But that’s just the bad news. The good news is there’s now a top 6 RW role up for grabs, and guess who’s next on the depth chart?


It’s Uncle Jesse!! A Pool Party in late September is not only the best way to get over an injury to my favourite Russian on this side of the Yakupov, it’s the only way to get over it. Jesse has just a glorious opportunity to take on a top 6 winger role for the home opener against Cowtown. He’s destined to see preseason minutes with at least one, if not two of Leon, Nuge, or Connor McMVP. Suffice to say that any playing time with the reigning best player in the world would be a huge boost to the Smilin’ Suomi’s game. More importantly, this is an enormous opportunity for my big-smiling, pizza-destroying, Halloween-winning goofball to tell TheoForever where to absolutely shove it:

I personally hope so. Somebody needs to get their dad off the internet before he majors in Butthurt.