Today in Overtly Butthurt: McDaddy Edges Crosby in TSN’s Top 50, Social Media Explodes

If you think Mcdavid (sic) is a better player then you don’t know what you’re taking (sic) about. Crosby has a complete game, no weak points, Mcdavid (sic, dammit, capital fucking D) as of right now does t (sic) even show up in the playoffs when it actually matters.
– That guy above

Let me start by saying that I think they’re 1A and 1B, personally. In any order. I don’t care. Obviously the bias Oilers fan in me is like suck it, world, McDavid > everything. That’s the blogger you normally get and love. It’s part of why the dozens of you read ENS.

However, the normal, functioning, and mentally cognizant human in me recognizes that Sidney Crosby is still an immortal creature placed on this planet solely to captain gold medal teams and win a bazillion Cups. I get that. I can put together rational thoughts sometimes. Crosby is, as they say in Halo, unfriggenbelievable. So too is Connor McDavid. One of these two individuals has been around, and has won his share of Cups, and his share of gold medals, and his share of individual trophies. The other has been around for two years, and has only had one crack at the playoffs. You’re comparing apples to oranges here, you butthurts.

But, TSN still publishes this, because they have to, and fans – in the most typical trigger-induced emotional reaction possible – jumped all over Twitter to defend Crosby’s honour. So we have guys liked (blacked out name) up there, whose Tuesday is more than definitely ruined because of this strictly-for-fun poll, going Trump-shit crazy all over TSN’s Facebook page because HOW DARE YOU SAY ANYBODY IS BETTER THAN SID, and then 56 other triggered snowflakes gravitate together like a goddamn cesspool and all vehemently point to Crosby’s Conn Smythes. And CUPS!! Of course, CUPS!!

CUPS! We out here talking about Cups?! I feel like Allen Iverson right now, man. Holy smokes. Of course that’s going to tilt the axis, one guy has been in the league literally six times longer than the other. The fuck do you actually want, man? People were flabbergasted over this. They legit cannot fathom how a player who has played two seasons in the league could be regarded as maybe the best player right now, even though that dude is fresh off leading the NHL in points by double digits and collected two different MVP trophies (one of which was voted by, of all people, his peers) and captained maybe the most incompetently run organization on this side of the Cleveland Browns into the playoffs for the first time in like a trillion damn years. Again, I do not care. TSN could have dropped this list today and had Crosby at numbero uno and I’d go, yep, he’s fucking dirty sick at hockey, fair call. Christ, Connor is even on record of saying he thinks Crosby is the best player in hockey. But right now (based on last season and last season virtually alone like TSN basically always does) McDavid is absolutely in the conversation for best player in the world. It’s not even remotely close to being as asinine as the citizens of Butthurtapolis are making it out to be, like this guy here, and his ridiculous way of spelling ‘ridiculous’:

This preconceived perception of time that has somehow been embedded inside the culture of sports that baffles me. When and why did time become such a prominent influencer on how we decide what is the best in the present moment? Sure, there has to be some degree of historical evidence to influence the foundation of your argument on “Why Player X” is the best, but one player has been in the league for 12 players and done spectacular things, and the other player has been in the league for two years and also has performed spectacularly. So, what’s the point? Is time seriously this valuable variable when it comes to evaluating the overall skill of any particular player when drawing a comparison to the rest of the league? And Cups? Christ. Yes, winning Cups is amazing. But by that logic, Jonathan Toews should be higher than Connor McDavid. Patrick Kane should be higher than Connor McDavid. Evgeni Malkin should be higher than Connor McDavid. Anze Kopitar should be higher than Connor McDavid. Philly Hot Dogs should be higher than Connor McDavid. I fact-checked this, and as of five minutes ago, hockey is still most definitely a team game. It is absolutely impossible to win a Stanley Cup by your individual self. If you’re going to put this much emphasis on time and team-related awards, then a lot of the damn league would be higher than Connor McDavid because his sample size is virtually nonexistent when compared to most of the others on that list.

But, you’re not, are you? This is between two generational players, both of whom have strong and rather opinionated fans who would gladly pull stats out of their ass to back up their irrelevant theories on who is the better hockey player. Love the passion, guys, but calm you need to take your attitudes and put them in the freezer because they need to chill the hell out.

Other butthurtly impulsive reactions:

Just the truth, you can’t read bro.

This one killed me. Why and how did Rejy Sekera get dragged into this debate?

Crosby’s better than McDavid you’re all stoopid dumb sheep turn your logic on.

Oilers will win a lot of Cups one day!



This dude is in serious need if a hug:

Thoughts and prayers to Jimmy Hiller’s ability to be okay.