Game Day Blog 3/82: Rebounding at the Rog, Jets @ Oilers

It’s no secret that Connor had a tough outing on Saturday night, the whole team really did. Luckily, the NHL gave us a scheduled bounce back game.

Tonight’s Opponent: Winnipeg Jets.

Their 2016-17 Season Record: 40-35-7, 87 points. I doesn’t get more Jets than that record. The one year they royally stunk and landed Patty Laine was a blimp in the radar. These are the Jets we know and hate, these stupidly mediocre idiots.

Winnipeg ended the year on a seven game winning streak, one that promptly took them out of the bottom five and propelled them straight into picking 13th. They traded that pick to Vegas for the right to draft 24th overall. It’s like they’re intentionally trying to be as boring as possible. How have their fans not rioted across all four of their downtown blocks?

What do they have? I’ll tell you what they don’t have: a playoff win. The Jets/Thrashers franchise has never won a single playoff game. Not one. They’ve been in existence since 1999 and they don’t have ONE playoff win. An entire generation has been born and raised and graduated grade school before the Jets-Thrashers accident won a playoff game. What an absurdly long history of being fucking awful.

I think it’s fair to assume that the honeymoon phase in Canada’s Oasis has finally ended. It’s no longer cute to watch Winnipeg feebly attempt to beat the big boy hockey teams while all 15K of their arena mockingly chants the name of the other team’s best player. Their fans are no longer getting the third star of the game for “gosh darn cheering and starting the wave and supporting their boys all the way!” There are NO MORE awe moments in Winnipeg. There was a point not too long ago where it wouldn’t have surprised me to hear that TSN had tried to petition the NHL Awards to make a “Fans of the Year Award” to give to Winnipeg every single season for eternity, but not anymore! Now they’re just a bunch of angry assholes like the rest of us:

Connor Hellebuyck gets the call in goal tonight because Steve Mason has more leaks than the White House.

Also, of course this is where Matty Ice ended up. It’s like they’re always trying to get in my head.

What do we have? OHHHH YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!

Yes. The spark our lineup needed has arrived. It’s officially time for Tony Time. Kailer draws back in for a fourth line role (pardon… like why?). Todd has either woken up or Caggiula’s injured, sadly I’m leaning towards the latter. Zack Attack slides down to the 3rd line. Iceman cometh again:

We apparently also have Connor Hellebuyck’s brain on our payroll:

Is it possible that getting Hellebuyck might even be a more favourable matchup for the Oil than Steve Mason? Me, anticipating what we’re about to do to the Jets tonight:

Did you know? One of their prospects was arrested and tased at Disney World this summer.

Prediction: Mason, Hellebuyck, who gives a shit. Oilers win 5-1. I’m probably underselling our ability to light Winnipeg into oblivion but I also think the boys might be a little heavier after dumping turkey into their lockers last night.

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