Morning After Blog: GOALS!!!!


Oh my!! All those goals ladies and fellas. I’ll tell ya: I’ve never been this excited about Connor McDavid not getting points on that many of our goals before. It’s a strange and confusing sensation, and one that I hope to feel more of yet also hope that I don’t have to feel too much of, because I thoroughly enjoy McPoints as well. But still, five goals and only ONE McPoint?! WHO IS DIS TEAM??

1st Period



Love that the Stars had absolutely no one prepared to cover Connor in the neutral zone. All Strome had to do was find the reigning MVP all alone and in the actual blink of an eye he was gone. We gained possession right as Strome’s penalty had expired and carried the biscuit out of the zone, so Mattias Janmark left his area to apply pressure on the puck carrier (Leon). Remember, Dallas only had one defensemen out there because of their power play, and Connor — being the literal fucking genius that he is — recognized the situation and b-lined it down the middle. Leon then chips the puck up to Ryan Strome, who like actually just stepped out of the box and received the pass. The defenseman, Lindell, cheated onto Strome’s side of the wall to prevent an uncontested breakaway, and thus:

Martin Hanzal was left to back check Connor McDavid. Good karma, people. We sent Looch to chase Phat Phil back on Tuesday, and the hockey gods repaid us with this. That’s what I’m talking about! Of course, that oversized mining truck did not catch the fastest player in the world, and the Oil had a lead for the first time since the first period on October 7th.

And it lasted exactly 63 seconds before Jamie Benn got Dallas on the board.

1-1… OH WAIT just kidding it was El Grande Rig just throwin’ er on net with 25 ticks to go and ya know what kids? GOOD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU DO THIS:

That’s Patty’s third of the year, and with the second assist Leon grabbed his second point of the night and fourth on the year. We scored two (!!!) goals in the first period and if I sound way too excited about that, it’s because I am, dammit. That’s the first time we’ve done that all year! THINGS ARE LOOKING UP!


2nd Period

PSA: Alexander Radulov has a filthy ass shot:

The boys took five minor penalties during the game and, assuming that you’ve watched the season and have functional eyes, you can imagine exactly how our world famous shitalty kill handled this ugly fiasco.

We went a while between goals but it was far from uneventful. Welcome to the season, Eric Gryba:

Let’s quickly check on Remi Elie after colliding with a 6’4″ 220 lb refrigerator:

Take it away, baby Nuge:

Kris Russell shot the puck 13 feet wide but little baby Nuge was driving hard, picked up the puck behind the net, and tucked ‘er home before Jamie Oleksiak even realized what city he was playing in. Look at that slow imbecile trailing behind. Jamie tried to be a hero and clobber Matty Benning back in the Oilers zone, which ultimately led to this odd man rush. Nice one, idiot. He then rushed back and joined his defense partner’s side, leaving Antoine Roussel — who was covering for Oleksiak and who is definitely still a forward — left all alone without  agoddamn clue what to do. Three Stars chased one Oiler (Strome) behind the cage, and Nuge was left all alone to bury his third of the year. Classic Oleksiak.

And then Eric Gryba reconstructed Roussel’s face while Lance Pitlick stared on.


GREAT period of hockey for the boys. So of course Dallas tied it (guess where [hint: it was the power play]) before it was over.

Excellent play by Russell in front and Jamie Benn just completely overpowered him to bury his second of the night. At least he didn’t starfish so baby steps. The Waterdale Bridge wasn’t built in a day.


3rd Period

NHL: We want to protect our stars.

Greg Pateryn: Hold my beer:

The fuck sort of shit is that? A good 49 seconds after the whistle, Greg Pateryn decided to step up and level Connor McDavid because the dude needed his 15 seconds of screen time. McDavid was called for an earlier tripping infraction. Pateryn skated back to his bench, unpenalized. Normally I’d want the Big Rig to beat Greg Pateryn back to the Coast League but given the situation (tie game) and given that McDavid was going to the box, AND given that our PK is about as useful as durry tray on a bicycle, I’m kind of glad he saved the beat down of Pateryn’s life for another time. I really just wanted to win this game. We play them again in like 20 days so if by some miracle Pateryn is not in the minors for that one, then you unleash on him.

Anways. Dallas took their first lead of the game on a separate power play because naturally they did.

Kris Russell was flat on his stomach but he had a much better chance at reaching a completely unguarded Lindell by launching his body into the lane so I don’t even think I really fault him here. H tried his darnedest!!

And just when you thought we’d piss away another two points, it was Baby Nuge to the rescue once again!

Just get it on net, especially against Ben Bishop, and you never know. The old change up. And finally, St. Albert once again saved the day:

Well, St. Albert (via Radulov’s foot). Leon with his third point of the game, and fifth assist of the year. Nurse picked up his second helper of the night. Matty got his first goal of the year. Everybody pitching in like it’s their job!! (It is their job, do this more).




Me too, Jamie:

I don’t have much else to say, awesome job boys. Matty forever.

Except… offense waking up like:

Hottest Tweet of the Night

That would be ill-advised, Jacie.

Gator’s Grinder of the Game

Eric Gryba, why not?

Most Outstanding Player