Morning After Blog: Goddammit Milan Lucic on the Ice in OT

Oh McDavid lights the lamp late we got a point we’re heading to OVER TIMEEEAHHH I’M DEAD:

When you’re going into the arena of a team that’s just won back to back Stanley Cups and you walk away a point it’s never a terrible thing. Stings like Gonorrhea piss when your goalie makes 42 goddamn saves and you derp and hurp pucks by hundreds of open nets all night though. Shit.

1st Period

I mean nothing memorable happened. Daryl fought Reaves and took a healthy dose of punches to the face.

Thank god for Cam.


2nd Period

Actually a pretty good and maybe a little weird period of hockey. First, Klefbom pinched and left Kris Russell on the clothesline.

I mean I’m usually the first guy to stand on the podium and point out something stupid Russell did but when you leave him out to dry against Evgeni Malkin and Philly Kessel aka 630 combined NHL career goals then your best hope is probably to just launch your body at one of the puck possessors. At least he was back there. Klef pinched for what feels like the eleventh million time this year and Ryan Strome was just floating around nowhere doing nothing in particular. Can’t expect Lucic to cover as it takes him longer to backcheck than it takes a washing machine to finish a cycle. Thank god for Cam, again.

Oh turns out there was also a gigantic invisible force field covering the Pens’ net:

BARF. First of all, what a damn save by Matt Murray. Credit where credit is due, man, that was insane with the paddle and all that. Then, Looch picked up the puck in all the chaos and had an absolutely wide open Connor McDavid to his right. Instead, the $6 million man ghosted the reigning MVP and decided to shoot into an area with five (5!!!!) black sweaters, and shot it right off Carl Hagelin’s stick. And in some insane, wicked, magical twist of all the holiest of events, the puck bounced right to McDavid’s area. Unfortunately by then, Brian Dumoulin was playing tendy and he came out and deflected the puck into the netting. This all happened in the span of about six seconds. Utter anarchy and we still couldn’t bury one. At this point you begin to question whether or not our lack of goalscoring is the hockey gods’ way of punishing us for our 5-14-6-1 lottery ticket, or if it’s simply the byproduct of a longstanding series of shit awful management decisions.


3rd Period

Ian Cole (!!!) took a wrist shot from the point, one that (for some inexplicable reason) our entire lineup decided needed to be blocked.

That’s four, count them, FOUR bodies in front of the net. Ian Cole. He has seven goals in the last five years but let’s screen the man who’s been single-handedly keeping us in the game because god knows what a threat Ian Cole’s four teeth are from the point.

And just when we thought we’d be stuck with two regulation goals on a three game road trip… Daddy to the rescue:

That was Chad Ruhwedel trying to catch up. Hall of fame bold strategy by Sullivan to send Ruhwedel out against McDavid but thanks we’ll take the point. Daddy’s first since October 4th (20 days!!!!!!). He still leads the team in this category by a healthy two. Note that the Oilers have 15 goals this year, and McDavid has been in on nine of them. That’s 60% of all our goals. Okay. Off to over time.



Alright, to all you young and aspiring coaches out there, he’s a hot tip: don’t put the guy who skates like a vending machine on the ice if it’s 3-on-3. Now you know. I only hope our professional hockey head coach now knows too. Six more years.

This was doomed from the moment he stepped on the ice. Looch carries the puck in on a standard zone entry/two-on-two play, and proceeds to fire the puck into downtown Wilkes-Barre/Scranton. The biscuit comes all the way back around and right on the tape of the 2012 Hart Trophy winner, and handed the puck to a guy who’s scored 20 or more goals in nine straight seasons.

2-1, final. We’re 2-5-1.


Christ we should have had that one, and Philly too. Absolute stingers.

Oscar Klefbom is shooting the puck with the accuracy of a March Madness bracket.

Live look at Looch trying to catch Phil Kessel in OT:

God that really stinks. The Oilers actually didn’t play that bad of a game. Talbot was on fire. McDavid was flying. They missed three or four open nets. Murray’s save on Letestu will be one of the best all year. Power play looked better with Leon back. Then BAM, Todd deploys Milan Cement Feet on the ice in OT. All for nothing because of one totally avoidable coaching decision.

How do you shoot the puck far side, low, and completely outside on a 3-on-3 situation? How? With Evgeni Malkin and Phil Kessel on the ice for the other guys. Baffling decision.

I thought Leon had a good first game back. Power play definitely looked more threatening with him on the unit. That’s a positive I’ll take.

Cam should be 3-0 since the Icetwins’ birthday but the team has scored four goals in those three games so you know. Where the stand up truthers at?

If we were going strictly based off players on our payroll, Benoit Pouliot would be tied for second on our team in goals (2) and tied for third in points (3). We’re paying him $1.33 million to play for Buffalo.

We’re now dead last in league scoring… with a generational player. The fastest player ever to play hockey, in fact. Obviously need insert more GRIT in this lineup. Character. Too many bad dressing room guys.

Still haven’t scored more than three goals in a game and it’s almost November.

This perfectly sums it up:

But guess what? Guys, I know it’s going to sound insane, but I’m really not worried. You ask me to stick my faith in this man:

And this (ice)man:

And I’m all in 100% of the time. Talbot is clearly back. Only a matter of time before Connor and Leon start hammering the bejesus out of opposing teams. Get Tony back in the lineup. Let Auvitu haul presser popcorn. Free Jesse.

19 – 97 – 98
27 – 29 – 93
58 – 18 – 91
36 – 55 – 44

Just saying.

Hottest Tweet of the Night

For once it was not an Oilers tweet that deserved all the hot credit. Most fans were on the same rhetoric last night, which was strangely unusual for Edmonton. This crown goes to the always incredible blabbering assholes, Penguins’ fans:

You’d think they’ve missed the playoffs for 10 straight years. All the team has done for these ungrateful knob tips is win back to back Stanley Cups. I despise all of you.

Gator’s Grinder of the Game

Darnell, who might have honestly been the runner up for Most Outstanding Player. Daryl has been steadily bettering his play each night. Good man, Daryl.

Most Outstanding Player

42 saves. The Iceman deserves better. Connor deserves better. There are 74 game left, lots of time to bang out a trillion goals and a 15 game winning streak.