After the Game Blog: General Disappointment, Round 2

 

Somebody’s dying tonight. There’s gonna be a Captain McAssKicking between now and Tuesday. Two days off to sit on what’s happened the last two games. It’s November 18th. It’s no longer early. Today was the quarter mark of the season. We’ve played one quarter of our hockey games, and we have seven wins to show for it. With the best player in the world on our team. This is a joke. A sick, twisted joke. And thinking about what Petey might do to try to fix this legitimately terrifies me. Good Christ.

Bad enough we had to watch that shit, this was the in-game analysis that was shoved down our throats as well:

Imagine shoving your head so far up your own asshole that you come out spewing these takes? Mark Spector is bum. He’s a fucking bum. And people actually listen to this guy. They actually turn to him and want to receive and digest his analysis. If you’re one of those people, just remember: this is the guy you’re listening to:

The coward deleted this tweet, but the winner… and still undefeated champion of the world is, the internet! Screenshots are forever. People don’t forget.

1st Period

Speaking of bums. Big Earl: Great nickname, horrible defenseman:

American-league-caliber man coverage and skating. Sekera on one leg would be welcomed right now. He just kind of missed him. Like, I’m not sure if he was trying to check Elie, or contain him, or go for a line change? I’m legitimately confused by this. It should be studied at the highest of academic levels. Anyways naturally Gryba took a penalty on the play, a penalty that would ultimately be the first of many parades over to the box in this one.

Antoine Roussel opened the scoring with this odd one:

Cam was cheating a bit and did not expect Tony Rous to put that one back in front. That looks bad on Cam but that’s actually a sneaky good play by Roussel.

Then Lucic beat the face off of Greg Pateryn. Flashback:

That’s Greg Pateryn from the game in October just unsolicitedly levelling Connor after the whistle. Fast forward to today:

PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!!

Alright so anyways Dallas scored again:

Alex Radulov, who I’ll come back to in a minute, fired one off Matty’s knee and into our net. It was around this point that Sepc started dumping that hot, venomous trash on us. Cue the music:

Connor just casually put the team on his back, like goddamn usual, and tied it up heading into the second.

I said I’d come back to Radulov. Look at this shit:

Let’s recall that Leon received five and a game for this back in the playoffs. Today, Radulov received two. The NHL, once again, reminding us that they’re the most inconsistent league in the world. Kesler’s hand is still on Talbot’s leg.

2-2

2nd Period

Connor, again, set up a play that lead to Drake Caggiula’s second of the game.

Drake Caggiula matched his point total on the year in literally three minutes thanks to Connor “turnover machine” McDavid. Fire Mark Spector into the sun.

Dallas answered back with not one, but two before the end of the period:

The third goal deflected off Klefbom. The fourth goal was a poor defensive read by Caggiula. That doesn’t stop Oilers fans from being very dumb:

Lethonin (sic) was in the corner grilling cheese steaks on the second goal, and kicked a rebound to Oklahoma on the third. “Let’s” is the plural word for “let us” and “lets” is the third person present word for “let” meaning “to allow.” Fuck us.

4-3 Stars

3rd Period

I didn’t bother making the gifs for the 5th and 6th goals. Figured that was enough torture for one afternoon.

We lost a matinee. In other news, I’m going to drink quite a few alcohols and go bowling tonight. Saturdays, baby. Somebody help us.

6-3 final. One more time:

That is the look of an angry, angry man.

Thoughts

Fuck Mark Spector with the fat end of a trenching shovel. Fuck the Fairy Godfather and his inability to do anything right with this team. Fuck Peter Chiarelli with his bald head and stupid glasses. And fuck Kevin Lowe for being the vice-chairman of the OEG despite everything he’s done to torture this fan base. I hate everything.

The Coyotes won again. They’re five points behind us.

Leon has three regulation points in his last eight games. That’s simply not good enough.

Alright, Drake’s speed matched up well with McDavid. I still think Jesse needs to be on that line. To be honest, I’m kind of over the Big Rig on line 1. It’s been fun, and I still love him, but if Leon and Connor can be split up, so too can Connor and Patty. What about this?

91 – 97 – 98
19 – 29 – 93
27 – 18 – 58
14 – 55 – 44
16

Yes, Looch would essentially be a $6 million third liner, but has his play dictated that he deserves to be anything else? I don’t think so, personally. He’s an effective power play player, and that’s sort of it right now. Five on five, the dude looks exhausted. I feel slower just watching him try to hustle back. It’s just a thought. That first line would flat out fly, and you add a player who was legit born to launch a puck on net. But hey, what do I know? I don’t have that Sportsnet money paying me for my thoughts and analysis like some people.

There’s a lot of hot takes going on here so try to absorb it all:

In the first tweet, a fan literally uses the word “rebuild” with a 20-year-old Connor McDavid on the roster, that’s how bad things are right now. The Dave, who pisses in sinks, is still oblivious to the notion that maybe building a slow and “TOUGH WESTERN CONFERENCE TEAM” was not the best idea when the fastest player in the history of hockey is the person you’re building a team around. Again, I am terrified of what Petey might do.

Hottest Tweet of the Night

Holy fucking shit:

A) Good one, Randy. Good one.

B) I have nothing more to say other than I hope the media is happy with themselves. Their stupid, illogical narrative is working.

 

GGG

Lucic for punching Greg Pateryn’s dumb, idiot face.

MOP

That turnover machine who’s mailed it in these days.

Now excuse me while I go drink myself into an unholy state of unconsciousness.

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