Game Day Blog 15/82: Our 5th Chance at a 2 Game Winning Streak, Oilers @ Devils

Battling for our first two game winning streak of the year. Fifth time’s the charm.

Tonight’s Opponent: New Jersey Devils

Cue the music:

 

Their Record: 9-4-1, 19 points

Our Record: 5-8-1, 11 points

What’s that? We have four points in our last three games?! Did somebody say, ON FIRE?!?

What do they have? It’s WWE Night in Newark!!!!

FUCK I won’t lie, I don’t love our chances of winning at the Rock on WWE Night. The 8,000 in attendance will be going ballistic. Devils cruising into the third period, up 3-2 or something. Nothing going our way and then… wait… no… is that? BAH GAWD!!! THAT’S THE POOL PARTY’S MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Jesse comes out of nowhere and joins the team hero-style after the intermission like a young Bobby Boucher and guides the team to victory. That’s my perfect world.

Now I absolutely need Jim Ross to call the game. Gonna be Electric Avenue in there. FOH, Remenda.

Also Kyle Palmieri missed our last meeting because of a lower body injury but he’s back tonight.

What do we have? Caggiula’s hurt, again:

Took a clapper off the boot. If Tony can’t go, I’m legitimately horrified thinking about who will be playing on our second line. Strome? I guess by default it would have to be. Yikes. Pray for Tony to be back tonight.

THE BIG RIG GOT ENGAGED!!!

Gave the Gurl Rig a big rig of a rock too, wow. His bachelor party will probably be very tame. I promise you Kassian will break the world record for most O’Doul’s hammered at a bachelor party in ever history. Literal guarantee. And he’s gonna crush roughly six hundred darts.

Now let’s watch the Draisaitl to McDavid OT winner again:

Did you know? I’ve been to Newark. It is a literal shit hole. It’s like Edmonton, if everyone in Edmonton carried a glock and if every corner had a burning shopping cart instead of a Timmies. Everything there smelled like aids. Lasted roughly 10 minutes before I bolted to Manhattan.

Prediction: Hall is winless against the Oilers and that’s never going to change. But I fully expect him to get at least one goal tonight, though it will be in yet another losing effort. We’re finally going streaking, Edmonton. I can feel it in my face. 3-2 Oilers in a shootout. If Tony plays it’ll be 4-2 and he’s scoring his first of the year.

PS – In honour of WWE Night at the Rock, I want to relive some of Stone Cold Steve Austin’s greatest moments involving cold ones. NOBODY crushes cold ones like the man. Here he is, doing what he loves, crushing cold ones:

Here he is crushing cold ones on the rope:

Here he is crushing cold ones with the boys:

Here he is, again, crushing cold ones with his boy OH WAIT FAKE OUT PSYCHHHHHHHHHH HE’S DEAD:

And finally, here he is driving a Miller Light Zamboni into the ring:

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