Game Day Blog 17/82: Sunday Scaries, Oilers @ Capitals

I legit almost forgot about this game. Sundays, man. Colts stink.

I’m very, very tired. My fantasy football team is putting my mind to sleep. The Colts, predictably, piss-fucked away another fourth quarter lead. And thanks to standard time, it gets dark at 1:30 pm these days. Christ. I haven’t even watched the Oilers score two goals in 60 minutes yet, and I’m already falling asleep. I actually can believe I almost forgot about this one. I’m bored just thinking about it. 2.3 goals per game for a team that has maybe the most dynamic offensive player in decades.

At least cap relief is helping all our locker room leadership grit though.

Tonight’s Opponent: Washington Capitals

Nobody deserves perpetual playoff ineptitude like Caps fans, bandwagoning harder than anyone since 2006.

What do they have: Vile. Disgusting, vile, despicable, miserable scumbags. And that’s just in the White House. On the ice, the Capitals haven’t been out of the second round since 1998. Connor was one when that happened. They are an anomaly, out there breaking all the laws of science and hockey in some rebelish attempt to prove to everyone that you can, in fact, clone the Vancouver Canucks. Imagine having a guy that scores a trillion goals per year and win the Stanley Cup exactly as many times as Sam Bennett has finished a pull-up? I pick you idiots every year in my playoff pools, and every year I’m reminded that God, in fact, exists, and he hates your living guts.

The Capitals longstanding record of the most futile season in NHL history is in serious jeopardy this season because Arizona exists, but let’s not forget how fucking terrible they were in year one. They went 8-67-5 in their first season, setting records for most road losses (39 out of 40), most consecutive road losses (37), and most consecutive losses (17), prompting then-head coach Jim Anderson to say, and I quote, “I’d rather find out my wife was cheating on me than keep losing like this.” That’s how this organization started. With misery and metaphorical infidelity. They were doomed from the beginning. At least their expansion twins, the Kansas City Scouts, had the smarts to relocate and start fresh after their shit awful first two seasons. They’re now the New Jersey Devils, and have won three more Stanley Cups than these same old Capitals.

Your star player started a political campaign supporting Vladimir Putin.

What do we have? Oh boy LB is definitely starting tonight, this is real.

Good news is Jesse is here and he’s on fire, one game point streak baby.

Kris Russell, who makes $4 million every year for the next four years, has played less minutes than human washing machine, Eric Gryba, in each of the last three games. The $16 million shot blocker hasn’t played over 18 minutes in a game since October 24th.

I really, really, really don’t feel like being 6-10(and 1).

Did you know: If we lose in regulation  tonight we’ll be one of just two teams with 10 or more regulation losses. Yep. The division 3 Coyotes are the only team with 10 or more regulation losses at this point in the season. I don’t want to be the only other team that joins them in that category. Imagine having Connor McDavid and being one of two teams with double digit regulation losses?

Prediction: This game had 2-1 written all over it but LB getting the call sort of terrifies me. Might as well make it 3-2, then. Taylor Chorney gets a goal because former Oiler. But Leon bounces back from his abysmal afternoon performance yesterday with a pair, and Jesse continues his streak on a feed from the (hopefully) untradeable Nuge.

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