Game Day Blog 19/82: The Bandana-Cammalleri Era Begins NOW, Blues @ Oilers

This dude is our rally cry. He’s Edmonton’s equivalent of the thumbs down guy from Yankee Stadium. Thumbs up with a cold beer in his hand and a bandana on his head guy is the perfect avatar for Oilers fans and also he may have single-handedly saved our season. I don’t know. Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, sure. It’s possible. But I’m a facts guy. You put facts in my face and I’ll believe them 101% of the time. And I know for a fact that we’re 1-0 since my boy Blue up there got right in front of the lens and partied like it was 1969 again. I don’t want Blue in my crew, I NEED Blue in my crew.

But Blue isn’t the only one looking to spark the boys en route to a November comeback. Mike Cammalleri, former Flame, begins his Oilers journey tonight. All he needs is two points and it’ll already be more successful than the Jussi Jokinen era. There have been two Jussi’s in Oilers history: Jokinen, and Markkanen. Jokinen had one point, Markkanen had two. He was a backup goalie.

Tonight’s Opponent: St. Louis Blues.

Their Record: 13-5-1, 27 points.

They’re actually the second best team in the entire league right now. They also lost to Eddie Lack and the Calgary Flames by a score of 7-4 on Monday. They’re ice cold.

Our Record: 7-9-2, 16 points.

We just beat the living daylights out of an expansion team’s 4th and 5th string tendies on Tuesday. We’re red hot. When you break it all down, it’s really a battle of two teams going in entirely different directions tonight.

What do they have? Good St. Albert kid Colton Parayko only has a Ferrari:

That’s my good St. Albert boy right there, speaking the truth. In St. Albert, we really do say “just a Ferrari.” Talk about wanting to blend into the home community. Now he’ll look like everyone else next summer, driving his ‘Rari down our gold-paved streets like Boudreau and Gervais and Hebert.

The Blues franchise history begins with three straight Stanley Cup appearances in ’68, ’69, and ’70, in their first three years of existence! Of course, they lost all of them (actually, correction, they were swept in all of them), but still, that’s extremely impressive, just ask the Buffalo Bills. However, those aren’t the Blues we know. No no no. The Blues we know are a living eulogy. In their subsequent 46 consecutive years since that franchise opening hatty, they’ve only reached the CONFERENCE Finals twice. Two times. Two. That’s how many different NFL teams the city of St. Louis has lost in that same amount of time. To put that into perspective, the Carolina Hurricanes – who average five fans per night – have made it to the Eastern Conference Finals three times since 2002. Forget the Bills. They’re hockey’s Cincinnati Bengals. They’ll never do anything important. Their greatest moment in franchise history was being in the same picture as Bobby Orr as he soared through the air like fucking Superman after scoring a goal to eliminate their team. Yes, losing to the Bruins was the best moment in Blues history.

Schwartz, Schenn, and Tarasenko have combined for 68 points and oh my God that’s a lot of points.

What do we have? NO LONGER IN 30TH FAM!!

BIG news. We’ve officially blew by the Buffalo Sabres (LOL JACK) and the Florida Panthers (YES). That’s what you get for being oblivious idiots and for being more corrupt than FIFA, respectively. With a win today, we have an opportunity to launch ourselves all the way up to a tie for 22nd. Honestly, I didn’t want to blow through teams at the start of the year anyways. That would bore me. This is way more exciting. Started from the bottom now we gonna be in the middle very soon hopefully!

The lineup looks something like this:

For those about to blow a fuse over Pak being dressed and Khaira being out, word is JJ suffered an upper body injury on Tuesday and will be out tonight. Still, here’s to hoping the addition of Cammdaddy will finally put a stop to this Pakarinen nonsense for good.

Did you know? Magnus Paajarvi is still playing in the NHL? Thought he was in the K this year, honestly. Figured we’d see him on Team Sweden in South Korea. But he’s still here, kicking it. He has two goals and three points in 18 games so it’s guaranteed point night for Maggy tonight.

Prediction: On that note, 6-3 Oilers tonight. Maggy will get his guaranteed one I’ve come to terms with that. Schwartz and Tarasenko have combined for 20 goals (10 each) but Connor and Nuge have combined for 17 (nine and eight respectively) so we’ll call that a wash. St. Louis is good, don’t get me wrong. But the Flames just pile-drove them to the moon, and Calgary was obliterated by Detroit last night, so really: how good can St. Louis really be? Ya feel? Cammalleri gets a goal in his debut, Jesse gets on the board with his first multi-point game in almost exactly one year (November 19, 2016). Connor continues his league-wide deterioration with three more points. And in the Battle of St. Albert, Matty B comes out on top with two points to Parry’s one. BLUE IT’S RALLY TIME LET’S GO!!