Morning After Blog: Better… That’s Better

I sincerely hope the Pistol loves and values Nuge even half as much as that young lady up there.

Better. Still a long ways to go to change the course or direction of this season but that was much better than the alternative (losing… losing was the alternative). Of course, the way this season has trended would indicate that we’re about to lose to Arizona, which honestly terrifies me. Now would be a very appropriate time for just our second two game winning streak of the year.

Ricky Ray forever. Let’s go.

1st Period

Pasta opened the scoring for Boston. The shot was a goddamn laser beam that was partially assisted by Iiro Pakarinen shoving Pasta’s body forward which, one might argue, assisted the velocity of said laser beam.

Other than that, the period was fairly vanilla.

1-0 Boston

2nd Period

Bruin killer Patty Maroon was up to his old shit:

The Big Rig loves to eat in Boston. Claw chowder with a side order of up-fucking-stairs, idiots. Great shot on an even better feed by his bash brother, Zack Kassian. You’ll notice that Brandon Carlo was spinning around Russell-style long after the puck went in. I don’t even think Kris would do that, actually. But who knows. He looked like a goddamn fidgit spinner.

Later in the frame, Adam Larsson was back there showing us that he can sometimes score too.

The puck actually went in off of Charlie McAvoy’s foot and not Milan’s stick like everybody originally thought, meaning we were given a McSecondAssist on the play.

Ah but then the old “missed assignments” came creeping back into our game.

Just bad plays all around by players whose last names end in ‘u’. Felt like almost right after we tied it up. David Krejci, Boston’s $7.25 million 60 point player, was left all the way open for his third in just 11 games this year.


3rd Period

Ryan Strome showed up:

I actually didn’t hate that line like I thought I would. I wasn’t a fan of making Drai the line 3 center before the game, given, of course, that he makes roughly one billion dollars and that I still want to see Nuge on McDiddy’s wing, but I’ll admit they looked alright. Even Strome didn’t look as terribly useless as per his general daily uselessnisity. I was semi-impressed. I need more of this. Dude has a shot when he actually uses it and gets it off without extremely fanning on it. Drake is a way better third line player than first line player, and that’s saying a lot, because he’s still not that good of a third line player. Still, having Leon down there really injected some juice into the lineup. We witnessed a great deal of scoring balance last night and I am almost reluctant to say that this could possible work.

Drai added an empty netter, it was assisted by McDavid. Two Daddy points. He’s now six back of Stamkos for the league lead in what Mark Spector would call an “off year” for the turnover machine. That humungous idiot. If the Oilers finish bottom five and McDavid leads the league in scoring can we trade Mark Spector for literally any writer ever? Too mentally weak:


Spec was at the Grey Cup so we didn’t have to eat any of his super hot takes this game.

For the amount of shit that Oilers Twitter gets and takes, I really do not think we’re worse than Boston. If anything, we’ve earned the right to spontaneously combust at any given moment after a decade of last place hockey. These guys won a Cup in 2011:

Also my god are the Oil ever getting it from other fans on Twitter. Like ya we stink right now but listen, idiots, Connor fucking McDavid. Go away.

THE FUCK what? We are absolutely not Arizona, Devon.

Yo also what’s with Boston getting all over Tuukka? Is this a new thing? Zdeno Chara really sucks at hockey now and he skates like a rhinoceros yet Boston still gushes over that behemoth like he’s Bobby or Ray or like maybe even Larry fucking Bird and are more than willingly to blame everything on Rask because he probably hasn’t hit anybody this year. Soft player, that goalie. He’s no THOMAAAAAAAS to the fine people of Southie.

Hahahah oh my God absolutely suck it, Calgary. You’re a bunch of BUMS. BUMS!!!! ABSOLUTELY CHOKE AGAIN YOU IDIOTS!

Imagine having only seven Grey Cups in 72 years of professional footballing? You guys STINK. Your stadium STINKS. Your quarterback STINKS. Your attitudes STINK.

BAD LOCKER ROOM GUYS they should trade McDaniel for a new long snapper, team needs baby. Just a thought, but I think Kamar Jorden should absolutely punch Marquay McDaniel at the face at Cactus Club or maybe at the Pint depending on who you ask.

It’s 2017 and Shania STILL has it. She can have it forever. Get in the action and feel the attraction INDEED! My sneaky favourite part of Shania is that she wants her man to pour her a cold one after she has a long day. Hell ya girl. Never forget:


“It’s HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA! It’s AMAZING!!” Can’t help but wonder how long her day was before that interview.

Hottest Tweets of the Night

I have no idea what that last one means but it for sure sounds like the most Boston thing of all time. Like there was a 1000% chance that someone from Boston was going to call McDavid a pussy last night. And if he played for the B’s, his statue would already be outside of the Garden.


Ya fuck you Boston fans, McDaddy is our grinder for getting in Chara’s kitchen.


The real MOP is actually Mike Reilly, who won the prestigious 2017 CFL’s MOP Award four days ago becoming the first Sko to win the honours since Tracey Ham back in ’89.