Morning After Blog: “General Disappointment”

I’m so happy I waited to write this one. Something was telling me that someone would say something today. I wasn’t sure who, but I had a feeling*. This was the byproduct of my patience:

And credit our friends at Oilers Nation for being ALL OVER IT:

WHOOPSIES, Petey. I swear when Pat Laforge and his team created “Here Come the Oilers” it cursed us forever. Now the team better watch and construct every word and sentence they, otherwise we’ll use it against them forever. Katz will forever be the Fairy Godfather. MacT will always be remembered for “a debacle of monumental proportions.” Lowe will forever be remembered as KNOWING WHAT IT TAKES TO WIN. This team, whether they get beat to a pulp at home or lose 15 in a row or win the Stanley goddamn Cup will forever be linked to “Here Come the Oilers!” And now, this. Now Petey will be General Disappointment for the rest of time.

Last night was one of those games where not a lot of good happened. It’s one of those games that you’d like to forget ever existed. Like we never actually went out there and played. Just woke up with another loss and moved on. Unfortunately, I’m going to do the exact opposite of that. I’m going to relive it. I’m sorry. At least it’s Friday.

*I really didn’t write this until later because I woke up at like 10 and then went to the gym. It is beach season, after all.

1st Period

*punches own cranium* Okay, so the game started with a flurry of penalties, including a fight. Former Oiler Maggy “don’t call me Svensson” Paajarvi took a hooking call and sent the Oilers to the power play with about six minutes to go in the period. St. Louis scored:

But all was forgotten moments later, in what was undoubtably an out-of-body experience, courtesy of Ryan Strome:

I mean… that’s definitely one way to actually shoot in your first goal of the year (Strome has two other goals, one was deflected, the other went off his butt, this was his first time shooting the puck into the net). That shot was sex. The bar is still ringing. ‘Bout goddamn time. The camera man, wisely, flashed RIGHT to my boy Blue:

I’ve decided, Magoo’s career as the GOAT Oilers Super Fan is in serious jeopardy. The only thing saving Magoo at this point is the fact that he painted his SUV orange like an absolute psychopath. But Blue and his bandana are taking this city by storm. I need to find this guy. I need to just sit down and talk to him, maybe have a couple of cold beers, I don’t know. I just need to hear his story. I bet he’s seen some serious shit in his days. Also I’m legit going to get one of those bandanas and I will only wear bandanas to Oilers games from this point forward. Blue fucks.

1-1

2nd Period

This was the point where the trash heap really began.

2-1 Blues

3rd Period

My face the entire time:

Fuck everything.

4-1 not us.

Thoughts

Not the way I pictured the St. Albert Bowl ending, I will not lie.

For the love of McChrist, please break up Leon and Connor.

Here:

19 – 97 – 98
27 – 29 – 93
14 – 18 – 91
44 – 55 – 16

When Sleppy comes back you have even more options in the bottom six, plus you get back a guy you know cna play in the top six if necessary. Unfortunately, I have no idea how long that will be. Still, until then, this isn’t the worst lineup I can think of.

Love how it took Todd 4.5 periods of a healthy Drake Caggiula to put him and his two goddamn points on the second line and drop Jesse down to line three. Because that’s how you get the confidence going. For what it’s worth, Jesse still looked awesome after the switch, and the second line began to get it taken absolutely to them once Drake was bumped up. We’ll see tomorrow. Christ.

I think regardless of whether or not we all believed it, we all at least hoped that the 8-2 expansion incineration would turn our season around. It didn’t… and I just don’t get it. I mean, I do get it. This is, as more and more people are becoming aware, the byproduct of a longstanding series of shit awful decisions. But I GENERALLY (fuck that word now) don’t get how these guys could come out that flat after playing what was easily their best game of the year a mere 48 hours before this shit bath started. It’s unfathomable. I’m beyond speechless. If you miss the playoffs with a 20-year-old Connor McDavid on your roster then you deserve to be canned. End of discussion. This cannot be argued.

Look at this mouth breathing sack of mashed potatoes go:

I actually applaud Donny’s optimism. I have no idea how you can generally (shit hell) be optimistic during what feels like a colossal downfall into reality but here goes Donny, not losing faith in a GM that is ridiculed by approximately everyone outside of Edmonton and most of our city now too. His points are kind of funny though. (1) I don’t think Donny knows how RFA’s work but he still congratulated Chiarelli for doing a job that literally anybody could have done. Doesn’t need to explain it further because all there was to it was to sit down with their agents and sign some contracts while every single other team sat back and could do nothing about it. (2) Eberle didn’t fit the identity of the team. Thank God he’s out now, could you imagine where we’d be if Jordan Eberle and his 14 points were in Edmonton right now? God we’d be so bad. Soft player. Can’t play in the West. (3) Holy shit. TOUGH BOYZ.

A friend asked if I thought our problems were related to the new jerseys this year, and I sort of agree. Here’s why:

  • The new jersey design was approved by Daryl Katz
  • I blame Daryl Katz for everything bad that’s happened to us in his 10 years of ownership
  • Therefore, I blame Daryl Katz for this season

Our in game entertainment continues to bring the entertainment value similar to a Tuesday night rerun of Two Broke Girls.

Hottest Tweet of the Night

DON’T. BE. THIS. FAN. Look at this fucking meathead. Spencer’s head just disappeared up his own asshole. What are the odds that Spencer has CHASTISED Nuge for being  “too soft to play in the West” before? A millionty billion percent? You know he has a fake jersey stuffed somewhere in his closet, probably beside his RBK Edge Steve MacIntyre shersey.

Also, who comments on a “Edmonton Oilers Fans” Facebook page? What sort of real life adult does these things? If I wasn’t an Oilers fan I’d be so mad that fans like Spencer landed the greatest hockey player of our generation. Spencer deserves every Ben Eager and Darcy Hordichuk and Luke Gazdic and Milan Lucic in the NHL. I wish he didn’t cheer for the Oilers. I am upset.

This, from my dude Baggedmilk(beets), perfectly sums it up:

Basically, if you’re going to be a vomit-spewing BUFFOON, keep your mouths hammered shut. Section 1 of our Nation’s Charter does not apply to your bullshit. You’re rights to opinions are nullified the moment you, as an Oilers fan, blame Connor McDavid for the shitfuckery that is taking place in our organization. It is vintage redneck Edmonton to scapegoat our team’s best player when times are tough. I won’t have it. Blue won’t have it. Connor can make a pass like the one before last night’s third goal in every game for the rest of the year and I’d still bend the knee every time I cross his path. I hope you’re happy, Rishaug. You started this.

MOP

Wow it was Ryan Strome. That was his best game as an Oiler and I’ll admit the hell out of that.

GGG

Bandana Guy. My boy Blue. Out there grinding since probably like 1933:

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