Morning After Blog: 10,000 Goals and Counting

Bash Bro Rule #11: Never wear a bucket in warmies.

Don’t look now, but the Oilers are kind of good. That’s now two straight for only the third (!!) time this year. We also haven’t lost two straight since November 21 – almost a month ago. And we’re scoring all the goals. And we’re 5-1 against the Pacific. And we’re now only six back of third place. Are we… are we back?


Fuck yes we are.

1st Period

Alright it didn’t start so hot. The now-recently waived Nathan Walker took what was likely his last penalty as an Edmonton Oiler and Kevin Labanc was left as open as humanly possible. Then nobody tied up four time 30 goal scorer Joe Pavelski in the slot and he was untouched as he buried the rebound.

We kill penalties like the biggest assholes, I’ll tell ya. The overhead view is phenomenal in this instance. Just a clear shot at everything that went wrong. Anyways Mark Letestu to the rescue:

It’s like we’ve always been saying: “Keep Letestu on the first unit!!” The goal came just as our power play expired so it doesn’t even count towards the PP stats but hey, whatever. Goals. That was a bomb that was put on the tee by Leon Draisaitl, who I felt played his best game in about a month. If Jones was a backup he would have saved that, but other wise no hope. You ain’t stopping a Letestbomb.

Then it was a milestone:

Yes… Ryan Strome scored a goal. Keep the puck baby.

10,000 goals for the franchise is insane. That’s a lot of goals. I have absolutely no idea where they find these stats but damn, suck it, Calgary (I’d be willingly to bet my university tuition that we have more career franchise goals than Calgary). First Alberta team ever with 10,000 goals. That’s awesome. Just another win for Edmonton. Chalk this up as the first thing that Connor McDavid hasn’t done for the Edmonton Oilers. Ryan Strome: welcome to Oilers history. I can’t believe I just wrote that.

2-1 good boys

2nd Period

Okay, could you imagine if we traded Nuge too? I think he’s borderline an impregnable factor of this team at this stage but like, if we moved him in the offseason like, say, Jordan Eberle, I think that would be basically as unrecoverable as they come. Here’s his 14th goal of the year, fam:

Big goal because two minutes later it was Tommy Hertl beating Cam on just an incredibly strange play:

Kris Russell’s addiction to blocking shots became a problem here as he stepped right in the way of the puck carrier while simultaneously blocking the living shit out of Cam Talbot’s view. It may have even deflected off of him at some point on its way into the net.

3-2 Oil though

3rd Period

I’ve been begging Patty to do something for months and the Big Rig finally came through:

Sharks were double covering Nuge like he was Antonio fucking Brown and that left the Big Rig wide open for a bullet. Patty was one of four Oilers to register a two point night yesterday, along with the man who made that pass: Mr. Ryan Nugent-Goddamn-Hopkins, baby.

Sharks added a third goal from Sorensen, and we added an empty netter from Strome, and that was all folks.

5-3 Oilers, two straight let’s go.


Cue the winning streak dance:

That was an impressive as hell win.

Bias aside, I wouldn’t want to play this Oilers team right now. Five goals and not a point from McDavid. That’s five straight wins with Cam in net. Team is starting to get healthy-ish (Klef on IR today). Once our special teams get going we’ll be unstoppable.

With regards to the 35-in-52 tracker (needed 35 wins in our last 52 games), we’ve now got 32 wins remaining with 48 games left. Totally doable now.

When you’re already lit up at the Pint and your friend asks if you want another shot of ‘Buca:

Mark Letestu quietly has eight goals and 16 points.

Matty Benning, great St. Albert kid, has three points in his last four games.

Drake Caggiula had an assist so he’ll be exempt from healthy scratch territory for a month.

Today in “Jesse Doing Jesse Things”:

That was right after he got absolutely crushed in the open ice, too. Still smiling. Still laughing. Enigma. Such a big ol’ goof.

We need to talk about this:

In a year full of the weirdest shit, Patty Maroon casually stroking Brent Burns’ beard is definitely in the running for Weirdest Play of 2017. What did we just watch? Why did Burns stay down like a sad puppy getting petted by his master? Why was the ref strangely hunched over during it all? What was the Big Rig slowly whispering in Brent’s ear? Why did I see this? Get me the hell out of 2017.

The Oil were busy doing all sorts of shit today. First of all, blockbuster alert:

Haven’t watched Future Conditions play this year but I really hope he’s a fast left winger. This was clearly a contract dump and one can either hope and/or be horrified about the fact that this is maybe the predecessor for something else. Nobody wants Greg Chase that bad. Good luck in Florida(ish), Greg. If you see my jerseys, grab them.

Next there was this cluster:

Tony had just enough time to make it to Nisku before being told to head back downtown. Nathan Walker played two of the most irrelevant games I’ve ever watched. I don’t see how he gets claimed but if he does it’d be great the shred that contract as well. Really open up the doors for Petey to do something crazy. Not exactly thrilled about what might come but hey! Who knows?

And finally, the worst free agent contract in Oilers history has been deported to Springfield:

I can’t think of a single memorable thing he did as an Oiler. Fun fact: Mark Fayne won the goddamn lottery when we gift-wrapped him a four year, $14.5 million contract back in 2014. He played 147 games for the fellas, finishing his illustrious Oilers career with a dynamite 17 points. We nearly paid him a million bucks per point. Holy Santa Claus shit.

Hottest Take of the Night

Hey Devon, you oblivious buffoon, they couldn’t win in the playoffs last year because you played the Oilers. This guy has it out for us:

(From Leduc, so he’s clearly a traitor and/or a complete and utter intentional dipshit) Those games had nothing to do with the Oilers outshooting these teams by a million billion, nor did it have anything to do with the fact that we just flat out smoked them, but it instead had everything to do with those teams playing much worse than us. Of course. Makes sense. Nuclear take.


Khaira has looked like a regular NHL player the last three weeks and he deserves to be recognized. He tossed three hits and added an assist. Gator would approve.