Game Day Blog 40(Christ)/82: New Year, Who Dis Team? Kings @ Oilers

Happy 2018, fam. The Oilers capped off their 2017 year with an unequivocal dump of a hockey game against easily one of my least favourite professional sports organizations on the goddamn planet and I’m still feeling the effects of what I did to my mind and body post-game. I am the most under the weather, coming out of the new year gates scorching hot (temp somewhere between 100-102 right now, for the love of Christ I need a win and some medicine).

We’ve changed the calendars, we don’t have to play Winnipeg until next season, our bye week is upcoming and that’s on Conn-daddy’s birthday and they boys play in Vegas literally that day so some good quality #inone bonding time can commerce. Nowhere to go but up, people (except down, we could still drop down). New year. New team, -ish.

Tonight’s Opponent: The Angels Kings


The punch that sent Jesse Joensuu back to Jokerit.

Their Record: 23-11-5, 51 points

That’s only good enough for second in the division because Vegas is content with blowing everyone’s fucking minds up and refuses to lose. The Golden Knights have 17 more points than we do. Last year, they did not exist.

Oh and this is the first time we’ve played LA — a division rival — all year, because Gary and the boys were convinced that we needed to play every Eastern team twice before today. If there’s any good news in our tumultuous fart of a season, it’s that we still have to play basically everyone in the division about 58 more times.

Our Record: New year who cares.

What do the Kings have? Oh they good. Johnny Quick is back and healthy and putting together another Vezina-caliber season, Anze Kopitar only has five less points than McDavid, Dustin Brown is defying all logic and somehow isn’t a complete handicap at hockey anymore. They have one of the deepest and strongest blue lines in the game, they’re young and experienced at the same time, they’re healthy. I could do this all day but the game’s in about 90 minutes so.

Truth is, LA better enjoy it while it’s there. The Kings are the flavour of the week in LA — a city infested with sports teams that people sometimes care about — because they’re good and they have two championships in the last few years and people seem to genuinely enjoy that, but all it’s going to take for them to jump off this ship and force the Kings to change their jersey colours in a feeble attempt at relevancy is for the Lakers to get good again, or for LAers (?) to realize that the Rams are actually good and that they play in their city, OR my personal favourite: when Drew Doughty inevitably leaves in 1.5 years and signs someplace else for a gazillion dollars. Then we’ll see how well the Kings and their Seahawks-style-bandwagon fan base hold on.

What do we have? Oh boy:

Let’s quickly remember what Petey said back on July 1:

Fast forward to today, and a 7th defenseman is now one of our fourth line wingers. What an all time back fire. This reminds me of all those times where we dressed Jason Studwick on the fourth line because Oilers, and we finished next to and/or in dead last in each and every one of those years. Hell ya.

Holy actual camel shit if Auvitu plays forward tonight against the fucking fifth best team in hockey.

Benning is out, Davidson is in on the point. I love Matty and will never say a bad word about him and St. Albert forever obviously but I’ll stand here and admit that his game on Sunday night was probably very bad. He’s fine, though. Promise he bounces back. That’s what we do in the T8N, baby. Nobody quits.

Oh, Bob:

I wonder where we could get a top six left winger? You think Shero would say yes if we went to New Jersey today and asked him to redo the trade?

Can’t wait to see what asset we piss away for the PP right shot blue liner. And my guess is because Bob thinks we need a 3LC then he is not a fan of keeping Connor, Nuge, and Leon on separate lines? You know, the lines that won us our only four game winning streak of the year and by far our best 10 game hockey stretch since April. But instead of saying hey, maybe the social teams coaches are fucking blowing it and maybe Peter should have tried to pick up a couple pieces in the offseason instead of doing interviews with Bobby goddamn McKenzie about how HIS fancy stats are better than everyone’s then I DON’T KNOW, maybe things would be a little bit better. Literally no accountability in this city. Fuck us. Auvitu might be a forward my LORD.

Did you know? This guy fucks:


Prediction: Hell with the Kings and the standings and Auvitu playing on the wing, 2018 is our year. 4-2 Oilers, Connor has never gone three consequtive games without a point and we ain’t changing that tonight. He gets two points and Auvitu scores because of course he does. Jesse with one.